Page 22 of Reign
She blinks, those wide eyes of hers traveling back up. “I said … I don’t know if I’ll ever feel full.”
This is the point where I’m supposed to argue with her—grab her by the shoulders and shake the truth out of her. That currently, she can’t live without me. A strange, foreign flutter of yearning at the center of my ribs tells me I should.
I don’t.
“Do you recall the moment you came up to me and asked me to be cruel to you?”
Callie drags her thighs against her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs. “I guess. Yes. I asked you because Sabine was growing suspicious of us meeting up with each other when she ordered me not to.”
“And did we?”
“Fool her?” Callie raises a brow at the same time she rests her chin on her knees. “What do our current events tell you?”
“Mm. Which is why I’m coming to you now and asking you the same thing.”
“For me to be cruel to you?” Her voice doesn’t carry any intrigue or acceptance. More like the flat monotone of a girl who knows the opposite is true.
Twisting, I find my shirt nearby and pull it on, but I don’t stand. I don’t shuffle away from her. The subtle breeze of her sweet cream smell every time she exhales is all that keeps me intact as I share the news that I intend to destroy her.
“I’m warning you this time,” I say, knowing full well Callie understands where this conversation is going, “that I will not stop at one event. Or two. Or nine. Sabine intends to implode my life if I don’t do what she wants, and that is to separate myself from you.”
Callie’s fixated on something over my shoulder, but it’s with the attention of a woman who’s looking so inward, nothing on the outside matters. “So it’s true, then. Everything I’ve done up until this point is worth nothing. My uncovering of the societies. My attempts to solve Piper’s murder. My hope to shield Emma and Eden from more pain and humiliation.” Her eyelids lower to half-mast. “To avenge Ivy. You’re no longer on my side, are you?”
“Don’t put words into my mouth.”
“My reputation is gone, too. Any opponent could point to my breakdown after my mom died. Without you backing me up, that transcript has all the merit it needs to erase my side of the story.”
“I’m not too worried about your reputation when I’m focused on saving your life.” It comes out sharper than intended, and I bite my tongue, sending the heat of temper into my eyes instead of through my lips.
Callie lifts her chin from her knees, the gold of her irises growing heated with a glassmaker’s perfection. “My reputation is what’s holding my life together. Without it, I’m unstable. Obsessive. Crazy. And Sabine is the sane one.”
“I’m not questioning your sanity, but I can’t risk Sabine doing to you what she did to Ivy.”
“So you’ll make me miserable instead?”
“With or without your permission.” I force myself into a stand. It should feel exceptional, staring down at her as she’s splayed at my feet, but all I cling to is the numbing belief that this is for her own good. “It’s not only you I have to protect. It’s my sister, my brothers, my society. Sabine is crushing all three—four, including you—between her fists and I can’t sit back and watch my father gift her a kingdom of ruin. We used to stand for something. The Nobles were remarkable, apex humans who could flip the world over with one flick of their finger. This room?” I sweep my arm out. “It harbored riches you wouldn’t believe. Minds that would blow you away. We encouraged capitalism, free-thinking, revolution, and innovation. Astronauts stood where I am. Presidents and bio-scientists. And our sisters, the Virtues, were encouraged to do the same. We operated as one, Callie, and if I don’t find a way to bring them together again, I represent nothing. Was raised by nothing. I am not nothing.”
I say it through clenched teeth, but low thunder accompanies my words. One with erratic lightning.
Callie flinches, but she unfolds and pushes to her feet. Her plaid skirt covers her sweet spot as she rises and her hair conceals her nipples when she straightens.
Creating a shield of her own sort.
And when her eyes flick to mine, they harbor a burning, inner core.
“You are so far from zero,” she says. “I wish you’d see that. Instead, you’re pushing me away. Intending me to suffer.”
A sharp rebuttal forms against my lips, but I temper it into a sneer. “I’m sorry you see it that way, because all I’m aiming for is the sacrifice of one chick in order to gift my secret society the limitless power they lost.”
She gnaws on her lower lip, a faraway look cresting over her face. “Will you stop Sabine from trafficking girls?”
My gut clenches at her sharp swing into acceptance. I eye her suspiciously because of it. “I said ‘reform,’ didn’t I?”
Callie doesn’t wince at the callousness. “With your plans in play, no one will believe I’m the descendent of Rose Briar. My ravings will be solidified by your aggression toward me. I’ll become the nothing Sabine wants.”
I’d rather you become nothing than lose you.
The words tickle the back of my mind, but don’t dare come forward. Instead, I hold her stare, this half-dressed, tousled, prep school reject in a way I can’t hold her with my hands. “It’s the only way to bring Sabine to my side without destroying the societies.”