Page 19 of Crush
Gasping, I release my throat. Stumble against the glass.
Blink.
Clarity seeps in through my mind’s crevices as the ecstasy wanes. My nipples are hard, and I’m shivering again.
Oh my God.
I think I just had my first taste of hate sex.
And all I can think of is doing it again.
8
Ember
On Monday morning, I skip breakfast with Malcolm, and honestly, I don’t think he minds. We didn’t see much of each other over the weekend other than running into one another as we both asked Dash for coffee Saturday morning. He didn’t ask me about my evening with the Virtues, and I didn’t elaborate.
Probably seeing me whole was enough to assure him I was doing just fine.
Barely. I’d like to think I would’ve survived without Thorne’s intervention, but I guess I’ll never know.
While I don’t mind the lack of parental concern, this new version of Malcolm is taking some getting used to.
The courtyard is bustling when Dash drops me off at Winthorpe and I filter through the crowd, as ghost-like as I was before I joined the Virtues.
Did I expect any different after joining a secret society? Respect? Acknowledgment? I’m not sure. I can’t pinpoint any members in the same way they can’t single me out. I’ve only seen the freshmen girls without their cloaks, and even then, they were warned by Aurora not to speak a word of Friday night to each other or anyone else.
“Hey!” Aiko finds me through the clumps of students all finding their cliques before classes start, holding two cups of coffee in her hands. “Caramel latte, right?”
“Mm. My favorite.” I take the proffered cup, pretending I hadn’t chugged two mugs full before sliding into Dash’s car. Any more caffeine and I’ll be cawing like a raven.
“Excellent.” Aiko delicately sips at her own cup with both hands, her eyes scanning the groups. “How was your weekend?”
I shrug, despite the images of Thorne’s bare chest, cresting waves, and cliff dives swirling at the backs of my eyes. “Uneventful. Just a bunch of studying for finals.”
Aiko glances at me as we resume walking. “Give me a break. You were totally summoned by the Soc—oof.”
I elbow her in the side as we stroll through the courtyard, coffee leaking out of the cup’s lid. “Even if I was,” I tell her in a low voice, “now isn’t the time.”
“Totally get that.” But Aiko glances up at me with a tightness to her features, like she’s worried I’m about to exclude her. “Maybe after school you can fill me in? I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said last week … about Savannah. I want to help. No—I need to help.” Aiko’s face goes from tight to pinched. “Actually, I can’t stop thinking about it. I need to find out what happened to her. Everyone else has given up.”
I wrap my free arm around her shoulders, pulling her small body in for a side hug. My heart tugs at her words. “I meant everything I said. Savannah deserves justice.”
“Well, where do we start? What do we do?”
It feels wrong to keep my true emotions from my face at her question, and I bury the answer even deeper. We start with Thorne. And we finish with him, too. We don’t stop until I get my revenge.
If we discover the truth about Savannah’s disappearance, wonderful, but if Thorne is brought down without ever actually finding the girl whose shoes I’ve inadvertently stepped into…
It makes me sick to realize it, but … I just might be okay with that.
My reasons for focusing on Savannah are so different from Aiko’s. If I tell her the truth, I’m afraid she’ll hate me.
As we pass through Winthorpe’s ornate, arched doors, I say to Aiko instead, “We’ll start by going through her timeline, the same one the police had. I can access the files.”
Aiko nods. “Okay.”
“And you can fill in any blanks with what you remember. Maybe something will come to mind.”