Page 39 of Crush

Dammit, there he is, exiting the back of Weatherby Manor with a bounce to his steps, his right hand slipping out of his back pocket as he wanders down the path, his head turning toward the garage—expression inscrutable, since I can only see the back of him—when at this very time stamp, I’m still lying on top of a fucking convertible, collecting my frazzled nerves before my brain decides to kick back in.

It’s so frustrating being a virgin sometimes. Sexual arousal and bodily pleasures are so new to me that this shit can happen.

“You asshole,” I mutter to his retreating, night-visioned form. Thorne shifts to a light jog, disappearing into the blackness of the road where the cameras can’t reach.

I cross my arms, watching him until he’s no longer visible, my mouth tight and grim. Yep. It’s high time I fast-forward his ruination.

Before he ruins me.

16

Ember

Aiko finds me milling through the hallway with the rest of Winthorpe’s students, all of us with a case of the Mondays as we head to first period.

“I got your text,” she murmurs once she catches up to my side.

I glance at her briefly, noting the forced blankness of her features, and try not to laugh. “You can drop the undercover look, Aiko. I just asked to stay over at your place on Friday night.”

“And you totally can. I figured it had something to do with Sav—I mean, the Desert.”

Again, with the code names. I shake my head while resisting the urge to hug her. “It does. I’d like to take another look in her room if that’s okay.”

Savannah’s locket remains hidden in my sock drawer. Since the disaster that was the Briar’s ball, I’ve been terrified to reveal it or give it back to Aiko. I can’t think of a good enough excuse as to why I have it, especially when I wore it to the ball without Aiko’s knowledge, channeling her stepsister and friend as an intimidation tactic toward the Briars.

Which failed epically.

Yet my continued ownership of it acts as a constant reminder that Savannah did hide things. If I found the locket in a secret compartment to her jewelry box, then surely, she hid other clandestine items. She was kidnapped, and there’s no way it was random. Not with Societies lurking in this school and with Thorne being her ex. Considering what his father’s capable of—what he’s done to Malcolm—it’s not a giant leap to believe Savannah’s missing status might be linked to the Briars, too. There has to be a connection.

“Sure, but the police went through her things with a fine-toothed comb. They didn’t find anything out of the ordinary,” Aiko tells me.

What she’s not saying is, it’s unlikely that anything to do with the Societies was recorded by the police.

I nod, but add, “Yeah, but Raven’s Bluff police don’t have the kind of deep-seated urges to find something to do with the Societies like I do.”

“Shh! I thought we decided on code names! ‘Desert’ for Savannah and ‘Them’ for them.”

I deliberately stare straight ahead. “They think they have so much control. Like commanding a bunch of high school students to risk their lives and reputations with stupid dares will rule the world someday. If your friend suffered, they need to be called out for it.”

“Ever heard of the butterfly effect?” Aiko tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “They cultivate certain personalities and skills out of those challenges to create future robot leaders. It’s why Sav—the Desert—changed so much before she… ugh.” Aiko holds her books tighter to her chest. “I hate these code names. Okay, yes, search all Savannah’s room you want. I need to know what she went through. If she…”

I squeeze Aiko’s shoulder, finishing her thought. If she’s alive. “I know.”

We reach a point in the hallway where it spears off in two directions. It’s also where the restrooms are.

“Hey, I gotta use the bathroom first.” I tug Aiko into my side before releasing her. “The giant caramel latte I funneled in the car was a poor decision.”

I get a smile out of her, at least. It’s enough of a tug on my emotions that I resolve to tell her about Thorne and me. As someone who’s trusting me so much to find out anything I can about Savannah, I’m not confessing enough to her, and Aiko deserves the truth.

Even if that confession means admitting my physical weakness toward him. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to squish him like a beetle and spread his guts around the floor for all the fucked-up games he’s playing. I’ll also make sure to tell her that.

It’ll be okay, I think as I wave to her and push into the restrooms. Aiko will still want to be my friend.

God, I can’t lose her. It’s why I’m keeping so much from her. I hope she’ll understand.

I’m so lost in my thoughts that, at first, I don’t register the quiet sobs coming from the handicap stall.

“Shh. You’re fine, Aurora. You look so good, I swear it.”