Page 83 of Crush

I inhale, and it’s gone.

Replaced by the beaten-down Malcolm I’m familiar with. His shoulders slump in defeat. “Rest, Ember. The doctor says you can be released in the morning. Dash will be here to pick you up.”

Malcolm dips his head, then turns to the door. “I’m so relieved you’re okay, sweetheart. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I don’t say anything as he retreats. I simply watch his back, noting the careful control he has over his body, leaving me to wonder, Have I ever truly understood him at all or has Malcolm’s hangdog expression been an act this whole time?

All I can be sure of is, after tonight, there’s no one left to trust.

33

Ember

I miss two days of school. I spend them downtown, idling with a cup of coffee by the window at Raven’s Buzz but keeping my eyes peeled outside, scouting the locations Savannah transcribed on the spreadsheet. I even explore a few, walking down the fishermen’s wharf during a spurt of energy and browsing the clothing boutique like I’d want to wear a pastel cardigan and collared shirt.

Nothing jumped out at me, but I didn’t expect it would. Damion’s business has operated too long to be discovered so easily, and whatever Savannah unearthed, she was silenced forever.

I’m careful, using my recovery to pretend boredom as I wander the street, buffeted with a growing winter wind. The gray cast to the buildings is amplified by the lowering frost, and I can’t spend as much time as I’d like snooping around without my nose growing red, then falling off.

By the third day, I can no longer justify my absence, and I return to Winthorpe Academy with reluctance.

The courtyard bench sits empty when I arrive. Aiko’s absence is like a punch to my gut. News of my “incident” in the pool reached the entire student body within hours. I was sure Aiko would send a text, or call, or show up unannounced to make sure I was all right—it’s how she’s been this whole time. Sweet, stubborn, hopelessly loyal. Yet she never appeared.

Aiko really is furious with me.

I hold my backpack’s straps tighter to my shoulders as I take the long walk through the courtyard and into the school. The cliques clustered around the entrance fall silent when I pass, heads turning and tracking my progress across the grounds, whispering to each other and laughing at my stupidity for trying to enhance my performance with opiates.

It wasn’t my choice, I want to shout. I keep my mouth shut, navigating enemy territory with careful strides and clear eyes.

I’m forced to stop just short of someone blocking me at the doors and my gaze lifts from the ground.

Aurora stares back.

She has a new wig today, giving me the stink eye through sun-kissed blond bangs.

“Move, please,” I say quietly.

She doesn’t budge. Belle and Delaney pose on either side of her. Aurora curls her lips into a sneer. “Barely three months into being a Virtue, and you’re already using it to save your skanky face. Why am I not surprised?”

“Isn’t that what you all do?” I glance between the three of them. “Isn’t that what it’s for? To give us advantages normal students don’t have? When did you last use it, Aurora? Was it before or after you tried out a buzzcut?”

She jerks forward. I trip back in an attempt to avoid a slap that never comes.

Aurora snickers at her psych-out along with her friends. “So brave in public, but we both know what can happen to you in private.” She inches closer, but this time, I don’t retreat. I face her despite my better sense urging me to run.

Aurora is like a wildcat. If I try to escape, she’ll enjoy the hunt all the more.

“The queen’s decreed I keep my hands off you.” Aurora rakes me over with a hateful stare. I suppress the urge to rip off her wig and fling it into the courtyard while everyone watches.

Malcolm warned me not to raise more suspicions or cause more trouble. I’m trying like hell to listen to him.

I say levelly, “What comes after the punishment of head-shaving?” My heel scrapes against stone, unable to maintain my ground when Aurora keeps creeping into my comfort zone. Our lips almost touch. We’re breathing the same air. “Do you lose a finger? A big toe?”

“Your jokes aren’t funny,” she replies. Delaney and Belle follow her lead, crowding my space. “It’s only a matter of time before the queen gets tired of protecting you. I’ll be waiting when she does. Look around, Cum Bucket. Do you see Thorne around anywhere to defend you?”

I hadn’t, but I wasn’t about to admit to her I was looking for him, desperate to ask him if he was the one to drug my sports bottle. He’d done it before. He tore down my walls enough for me to easily do it again.

The only difference is, this time, he tried to warn me. Did he actually attempt to save me for real?