Page 56 of Liar
“It’s you!” I say between laughs. “It’s really you! I’m finally seeing the Aiko I’ve come to know, with horrified emotion and everything.”
Aiko shuts her mouth. Her hands clamp in front of her. “Oh. That’s not—that wasn’t my intention. I’m still mad at you.”
My laughter subsides. “I ruined it by calling you out, didn’t I?”
She sighs. “No. I’ve missed it, too. Missed you. I figured with Savannah back, I didn’t have the bandwidth to deal with our stuff and hers all at once, so I made a choice. The right one, considering what I just witnessed.”
A ball of shame lodges in my chest, but I pull my lips in and keep my face blank. “I’m aware of my choices, too. If I wanted to feel regret, I wouldn’t have slept with Thorne in the first place.”
Aiko gasps, forgetting her anger again. “You slept with him?” She points at the bathroom door. “At school?”
“No. Well, yes. Kind of.”
“EMBER!”
A squeak of laughter breaks through my façade. “Come on, did we not all see it coming? I had to know! He’d been dangling his skills in front of me for months. You had to know I’d cave eventually.”
Aiko sobers, regarding me quietly. “You’re making a joke out of this?”
“What do you mean? I’m just being honest.”
“Em, you gave him your virginity. Your first time was with a sociopath. A hot one, sure, but also one who’s guaranteed to break your heart. He’s not good for you. You deserve someone who cares, not a guy who’ll bend you over a table and grunt his way—”
I hold up a hand. “Stop.”
“We’ve been distant lately, but I still know you. This is going to hurt, Ember.”
Heat swells, different than before. “I’ve changed. You have no idea what I’ve gone through. None. I’m perfectly aware of Thorne’s emotional limitations, and I don’t care.”
“You do.”
“I don’t! What is with all this, anyway?” I flap a hand in her direction. “You’re done with me, remember? Don’t be showing concern now.”
“Ember, I still care about you. And I love you.”
“No.” A sharp pain forms in my chest, too close to my heart. “I’m not doing this.” I move to go around her, but she spins with me.
“I’m a dummy, okay? Ember, please.” She grabs me by the hand, bringing me to a sharp halt. I still can’t turn around and face her.
“I shouldn’t have iced you out. I can see what it’s done to you, and if I’m honest, that’s partly why I haven’t been talking to you. Because I can’t stand to see the hopelessness on your face like you have no one left who loves you. I do. And yes, I come with the baggage of a broken home and a kidnapped stepsister, and let’s not get into the secret societies that run this school that I’ve never been chosen for … but I always prided myself on being a good friend. And I failed you when Savannah came back. I couldn’t balance the both of you.”
My throat is thick. It burns, and I’m terrified that burn will travel into my eyes, and I won’t be able to stop crying. “I don’t blame you.”
“See? That makes me feel worse. I don’t want to desert you anymore. Please, don’t go down this path…”
“I’m a big girl, Aiko. You can’t stop me.”
“But I can help you.”
I slowly lift my head, regarding her.
“I feel … useless. I’m trying so hard to help Savvy, but it’s like she doesn’t want it. She can’t stand to be around me, and all I want to know is why. What did I do? Does she hate me?” Her eyes cloud over. “I’ve gone this far. I might as well make a full confession. I’m jealous of you. You get to spend so much time with Savvy, especially with both of you being members of the Virtues, and I’m—nothing. A speck in her spotless cloud. She pretends to include me by having me sit at your table and stuff, but come on, we all know how she’s treating me.”
My face softens. I stare at her for a long time, watching her fight off the overwhelming sadness that comes with not feeling good enough.
It helps me come to a conclusion. And maybe, gifts me with the ability to remove some of the poison infecting my body. I squeeze her hand. “Aiko, can we get out of here? There’s something I need to tell you about Savannah.”
She sniffs and wipes her eyes with the back of her sleeve. “Sure. I hate Macroeconomics, anyway.”