Page 8 of One Last Time
It’s been four months since I found Silas in the arms of another woman, I’ve cut him from my life. I honestly thought about talking to him, finding out why he did it. But the pain wasn’t worth the gain, so I changed my number and focused on my school work. I miss him, God, do I miss him; I don’t think a night has gone by that I haven’t cried myself to sleep. My dreams used to include what our future would hold, now they’re filled with him and this other woman.
I believed that he’d come to me, that if he truly loved me like he professed he did, he would have come to me when he was on break. But as the days went on and there was no sign of him, all my hope vanished. There’s a part of me that will always love Silas, a part of me that will always belong to him. He was my first everything, and he’ll hold a place in my heart, but it’s over, and now I need to move on with my life.
“I’m only going to be gone for two weeks,” I tell her, but her tears start to fall. I’m going to be going fourteen days without seeing my family. I’ve never done it before, and I’m scared. “Dahlia, please.” My voice cracks, I had hoped I’d have been able to get through this without the waterworks.
She pulls me into a hug, and I fall into her. “I know, but I’m so proud of you, Pay,” she tells me softly. She’s been with me every step of the way. She pulls away, but her hand reaches up, and caresses my cheek. “So beautiful, the world isn’t going to know what’s hit it.”
Dahlia and I had a long talk when we got back to the hotel and then when we got home. I decided to take up Jerald McAndrews offer. Of course, Dahlia had checked the company out to make sure that it was legitimate. When she told me that it was, I was stunned. I’ve never been the beautiful girl, or the prettiest, and especially after the crappy day I had, to have someone in the industry see me and want to sign me to their books makes me feel beautiful.
Jerald is now my agent, and things have been crazy since then. It’s as though everything has been going at full tilt. He got the ball rolling for me to be homeschooled, the teacher that comes will also be with me if and when I go abroad. Harriet is coming with me when I go to Milan in a few days. It’ll be my fifth photoshoot in the past four months, but my first overseas.
“What if they don’t like me?” I ask her quietly, voicing my ultimate fear.
“Baby, you’re going to be amazing, and they’re going to love you, just as we all do.” Her smile is bright as she brushes my hair away from my face. “Fourteen days, Pay, then you’re home for a while.”
“Yeah, I know, it’s going to be hard.” The thought of not seeing Mary, Tyler, and Sebastian for that long pulls at my heart.
She sighs, “There’s a reason smartphones were invented. We’ll video call every evening. You’re never going to be alone,” she promises me. “Harriet will be with you, she’s practically family now, Pay.”
“I know, but it’s not the same.” I sound like a child, but things have changed so much in the past few months that leaving, even for a few weeks, makes it feel as though everything is changing, and I’m not sure if I can deal with that.
“Two weeks,” she says softly, her eyes brimming with tears. “We can all deal with two weeks.”
I reach for my suitcase, “Yeah.”
She cups my cheek, “You’ve been through so much, this is going to be a cake walk.”
She has so much faith in me, she truly believes that I’m strong and capable enough of doing whatever I want. I, however, am not that sure, every single new step I take is filled with anxiety and fear. The fear of rejection.
The photoshoots that I’ve been on are a mixed bag. The agents, the photographers, the make-up artists, and the hairdressers are amazingly sweet, and so helpful. All of them are full of helpful tips and suggestions on how to make it in this industry. Whereas the models are all beautiful, thin, and perfect. They’re from prestigious families that have loads of money. They look down their noses at me, they think that I’m not good enough to be a part of their world. I keep my head down and do what I need to do.
I haven’t made a hell of a lot of money, but I’ve made enough to start a nest egg for myself. My ultimate dream is to earn enough money so that I can pay off Dahlia’s mortgage, as well as set up Mary, Tyler, and Sebastian with money that’ll put them through college. It’s a pipe dream, but everything I earn from now on will go toward that.
“Pay?” Dahlia says, pulling me from my inner thoughts. “Where did you go? You were miles away.”
I shake my head, “Just thinking.” I move closer to her again and engulf her in my arms. “I love you, Dahlia.”
She sucks in a sharp breath, her arms tighten around me. “Oh, baby, I love you too. So very much.” She pulls back and wipes away the fallen tears. “It’s time. If you need me, call me, I’ll be on the first flight out.”
I smile, feeling slightly lighter. “I’ll call you when I land,” I promise her as I drag my luggage out of the bedroom.
“Good, but let me know when you get to the airport,” she says as she follows me to the front door.
I resist the urge to roll my eyes. While sometimes it may be over the top, I really do appreciate just how much she cares, especially when she didn’t need to.
I give her one last hug and promise that I’ll call her when I get to the airport. When I get into the waiting car, I’m greeted by a smiling Harriet. “You okay, Pay?” Her voice is just as gentle as Dahlia’s, it’s why I feel so at ease around her. She’s very similar to my aunt.
“Yeah,” I reply as I look out the window as the driver drives toward the airport.
Her hand covers mine and she gives me a reassuring squeeze. “You’re not alone, I’m here for you.”
I nod. “I know, and I appreciate it.”
I lean my head back against the leather seat and close my eyes. The silence in the car as well as the motion soon help lull me to sleep.
“Payton, I know we had said two weeks, and that’s it, but I’ve had an offer come in, and they want you. It’s a three-day shoot. It’s a little more prominent than what you’re used to,” Jerald tells me as he places a pizza on the table in front of me and Harriet.
“Where is it?” I ask, really not wanting to be away from home for too long. I’ve been here for twenty-four hours, and he’s already talking about another job.