Page 90 of My Tiny Giant
Bound hand and foot, I couldn’t make it to the fescod’s hearts, now. Pulling at my ankles and wrists, he spread me like a starfish then pressed my back to the wall of the tunnel. Since his pincers failed to penetrate the material of my suit, I realized with horror, the fescod intended to kill me by crushing me between the mass of his body and the hard surface of the ancient shell.
He flattened himself against me, the gray skin completely obstructing my view. So far, the suit had held against the crushing pressure of the ocean. Would the added pressure of the fescod’s mass be too much for the experimental material?
Through the suit, I sensed a sudden convulsion of the fescod pressed against me. The gray skin peeled away from my helmet.
Agan had wedged his feet into the healing cut in the fescod’s skin. Holding it open, he quickly dove in. When he reappeared, he triumphantly held up the bloody cluster of the fescod’s still beating hearts.
Agan’s mouth remained concealed behind the silver mask, but his teasing smile reflected in his eyes as he took a long cutting tool from the sheath on his belt then demonstratively butchered the heart cluster in the most savage way. He obviously did it in such dramatic fashion for my benefit, as a complete opposite to my neat “girly” way of disposing of fescod hearts.
I shook my head, brushing off the limp feelers of the dead fescod from my arms and legs. A smile tugged at my lips under the mask, and I made no effort to hold it back. Agan’s teasing brought some sense of normalcy, easing the tension in my chest.
His gaze slipped behind my shoulder; sharp focus chased the smile out of his eyes as he tipped his head toward the entrance to the tunnel.
A group of fescods hurried through the wide opening from the outside. Gesturing at the narrow passage ahead, Agan slipped through it first. I shoved myself into it next, out of the fescods’ reach.
Agan waited until I was safely inside before taking off farther into the mesh of the shell skeleton. The red string trailed behind him, marking the way for me.
I swam after him, toward the bright light in the center of the shell.
The openings in the porous shell grew smaller, the closer to the center we got. No fescod could follow us here. After a while, however, even I found it increasingly difficult to squeeze through the holes, bumping my shoulders, and angling my hips, while wiggling through.
A little ahead, it became clear, I couldn’t go with Agan any farther. The string kept unraveling behind him as he kept swimming away from me.
He stopped abruptly, obviously realizing that he was leaving me behind. Turning back, he darted his gaze around the circle of bone that separated me from him. This next opening was obviously too small to even fit my helmet through.
His gaze met mine. I smiled encouragingly, hoping that he could read it in my eyes even as he couldn’t see my mouth.
“I love you,” flashed through my mind, pinching my heart with intense longing.
I loved him. I really did. I loved this man, and I had never told him that.
The realization hit me like a blow in the stomach. Then, the bitter regret that I couldn’t say these three words to him now squeezed my chest.
Gripping the edge of the opening, too small for me to fit through, I stared at his figure as it disappeared from sight, swallowed by the impossibly bright light of the alien mind.
Come back, Agan. Do what you have to do then come back to me.
Because I love you.