Page 51 of The Finish Line

“I want that.”

I glance her way, briefly taking my eyes off the road. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she says icily. “In the know is a luxury I paid for a long time ago.”

“You’ll have it, but it’s not going to pay off the way you want, at least not at first.”

She glances back out of the window, and I slow to a stop on the side of the road because I want her to hear me. She’s trapped in the car this way, no escaping the conversation, which is where I need her for this confession. I want to be ready for whatever reaction she has. She frowns when I pull out my phone and compose a text, holding up our meeting. She watches me expectantly when I shoot off the message and face her.

“We’re going to have to have one of those conversations now.”

“Tobias—” She shakes her head. “I understand why we need security.”

“There’s more to it.”

She bristles. “Goddamnit, isn’t it always something?”

“Yes. That’s my point. There will always be something. Always. No matter what, there will always be something, and you have to decide if being with me is worth this never-ending hassle and, more importantly, losing your life. Your life, Cecelia, because once you make this decision, there’s no going back.”

“I made the decision years ago, until you decided for me, remember?”

“Stop being so fucking flippant about this,” I bark. “And maybe I’m thinking that it’s still a decision for you because maybe you don’t feel the same way anymore.”

“I’m not being flippant. I’m adjusting. What haven’t you told me?”

“Everything I need to because you haven’t given me a fucking chance!” I clench my fists, trying my best to level out my temper. “And I get it, okay? I do, but this really is that serious.”

She licks her lower lip, her eyes remorseful. “I’m trying.”

“I know. Dom’s body wasn’t even in the ground before Miami retaliated.”

Her eyes widen. “What?”

“They came from Florida guns blazing and declared all-out war, just as we finished cleaning up the mess at Roman’s house. We were completely unprepared.”

“Jesus.”

I turn in my seat and fully face her.

“Within a week, they hit every fucking southeast chapter of the brotherhood and successfully killed a raven in every single one, including Alicia’s brother. That’s how we met, at his funeral. I was there the day they buried him.”

She nods solemnly.

“But that’s not when we got together. That funeral was just one of a dozen I attended in the month after you left, including Dominic’s.”

Her eyes fill with nothing but empathy, the reaction of a true queen, not a jealous ex, as she tries to wrap her mind around what I’m telling her.

“They came in droves, Cecelia, and all for. My. Head. You have to remember that only a few founding members knew of my association. Once I was outed by Miami, I became enemy number one. Sean and I split the chapters, amped-up security even though we weren’t really on speaking terms. We weren’t on any kind of terms at that point, but our dedication was unshakable, and we worked together, and both stepped up. That war lasted a solid six months before it finally started to die out. And it only reinforced my decision to keep you far, far away.”

“But... I thought all of those defecting in Miami were killed that night?”

“Some got away, and when they did, they armed up and came back with a vengeance. Miami was one of our best crews for a reason. They were the largest and had the most connections. A few of them had mafia ties, and they were not fucking around. They went straight for the head, me, and it got bad. When that news spread after that shitshow at your dad’s house, my authority and control was put into question by the brotherhood. Some thought I’d turned my back for personal reasons. News got muddled, and word spread fast. And it didn’t help that we were losing brothers left and right. Families got pissed, and all of them blamed me. It was my worst fucking nightmare. I was sure we were all about to get exposed, and every time I lived past a new threat, I assumed it was about to be over. The longer it went on, the more funerals I attended, the more I tried to right the world of the families that got destroyed before the government stepped in and snatched me. For the first year, I was sure it was all over.”

“But nothing ever came of it? No authorities caught wind?”

“The war was spread out across several states. Thankfully, we had enough feds with wings on our payroll to destroy the tie of the markings in the media, but as far as leaving a trail, as careful as we were, I wasn’t sure about it because it was an all-out street war by that point.”

She swallows. “How many died?”