Page 102 of Sentinel's Kiss
“Bike? As in motorcycle?” Her mother’s voice rose a painful octave on the last syllable.
Ashley jogged after Ryder. “What’s this all about?”
“You need to come with me.” Ryder tossed her a dented-up helmet that had seen better days. Throwing a leg over the large Harley, Ryder revved the engines so the pipes exploded with a loud rumble.
Refusing to think about Josh, Ashley climbed on the bike and held on to Ryder’s hips. “Where are we going?”
“You need to see something.”
Her curiosity overrode her reluctance to go with Ryder. Truth be told, she missed the feeling of flying on the back of a speeding bike. There wasn’t any more time to talk as Ryder ripped up the expressway and weaved in and out of traffic down the local roads until they pulled up to the children’s medical center.
“Is everything all right?” Ashley asked.
“You’ll see.” Ryder secured the helmets and motioned for her to follow.
Instead of stopping in the lobby or at the front desk, Ryder walked right to the elevators and pressed the button.
“I suppose you know that Josh and I aren’t together anymore.”
Ryder didn’t say anything.
“It’s complicated. I mean, I’ll always care about him.” Ashley folded her arms in front of her as the pain hit unexpectedly. “I don’t mind the secrets. I trust him. I just wish he had trusted me.” She shook her head. “But I guess it’s to be expected. We’re both so different and stubborn.” Ashley sighed. “I just thought that since we went through so much with Stan and Sarah that maybe we could have something beyond that, you know?”
The elevator doors opened and Ryder stepped out. Ashley followed after doing a double take at the sign that said NICU—NEONATAL INTENSIVE CARE UNIT.
“I don’t want to be here,” Ashley said, stopping dead in her tracks. Cold perspiration drenched her from head to toe. Black memories threatened to engulf her. She turned to get back in the elevator. She couldn’t do this. She wouldn’t do this.
Ryder kept walking down the hall.
“Why are we here?” Ashley hissed.
The fear was palpable and her breathing was shallow. She was going to hyperventilate.
“Damn it, Ryder.”
Was she taking her to see Josh? Or was it Ryder’s baby who was sick? They weren’t very close, but if Ryder needed her here because she needed a woman friend instead of one of the SOB dolts, she couldn’t let her down. Hurrying to catch up with her, Ashley swallowed a wave of nausea.
They stopped outside a viewing area. Ashley kept her face down. She couldn’t look at the babies without seeing Dawn. Blinking back tears, she waited for Ryder to say something. When she didn’t, Ashley looked up at her and found her staring into the room. Following her gaze, she had to do another double take. Josh cradled a little newborn in his arms while rocking in a wide chair.
“I don’t understand,” she whispered. “Why did you bring me here?”
“Usually he takes the three a.m. to seven a.m. shift,” Ryder said. “He’s here this afternoon filling in for a woman who had to go to her grandson’s bar mitzvah.”
Big, tough, scary Josh was singing to the baby, by the looks of it. Her ovaries exploded and she couldn’t stop the tears from running down her cheeks.
“When Sarah was still alive, he would do it because she would cry to him about the babies who needed someone to hold them. He drew the line at doing it shirtless, no matter how many times the nurses begged.”
Ashley tamped down a hysterical giggle.
“After Sarah’s death, he did it to honor her memory. And because he’s a gigantic marshmallow.” Ryder smirked. “Whatever you think of him, this is who he is.”
“Oh.” Ashley was only dimly aware when Ryder left a few minutes later. Ashley was too busy replaying every argument, every frustration.
When she stood up, Josh glanced over and did a double take. Was he blushing? He looked down at the baby in his arms and then back up at her. He shrugged helplessly.
“Goodbye,” she mouthed, and waved.
“No,” he mouthed, and shook his head.