Page 16 of Daddy's Reckoning

“You sure you don’t just want to take the spanking you so desperately need?”

I felt like he was staring into my soul, reading my innermost thoughts.

God, I wanted it. There was something so cathartic about when Theo spanked me. It was almost like he righted everything that was wrong in the world just with the simple action of hand meeting ass.

But could it be safe? Most of what I’d read said yes if it wasn’t overboard, so god, I was tempted to give in. But I’d failed a majorly important class, so it’s not like he would go easy.

As I sat at war with myself, the pregnancy hormones kicked in, and to my absolute horror, I burst into tears. Not just tears. Gut-wrenching, body shaking sobs.

I was full on ugly crying. In front of Theo, who, of course, immediately went into Daddy mode.

“Oh my god. Are you okay? Babygirl, what's wrong?” There was an urgent desperation in his voice as he laid down beside me, half covering my body with his. He stroked my shoulders and laid his head near mine, whispering words of comfort in my ear, interspersed with frantic questions. “It's okay baby, Daddy’s here. What's wrong? It's okay. It's okay. Please tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help. I probably can, but not if you don't tell me what's happened.”

With every word he spoke, hopelessness bubbled in my chest. I shook my head and cried harder.

His pleas grew more frantic and I could tell he was genuinely worried.

“Erin, baby, please.”

I shook my head harder and only then did he seem to realize I was crying too hard to speak. Even if I wanted to tell him what was wrong, I couldn't.

“Oh god. Come here.”

He half-wrestled my body against his to take me in his arms. I inhaled his scent and sought solace in the familiar feel of his body holding mine. But it didn't stop the tears, because I loved him. And I knew I was going to lose him. There was no way to hold onto him after he found out what I’d done, or more accurately, what I hadn't done.

Suddenly I was desperate to get it over with, and let the cards fall where they may.

Letting his closeness calm me, I drew several deep breaths until my sobs evened into shaky cries.

“You’re going to hate me,” I finally managed.

Theo pulled his body back from mine, gripping my shoulders as he peered into my eyes, his face a mask of confusion.

“Babygirl, that is never going to happen.”

“I know what you wanted, and I know why, and it even makes sense, but I couldn't do it. I never wanted to. It's not a choice I ever planned to make for myself. I don't need anything from you. I'm not doing it to trap you. I’ll sign whatever you need me to. I promise I didn't do it to hurt you. I just… I thought we were over. I meant to cancel my contract with the club. I thought I’d never see you again. I mean… I don’t know how that’s possible, really, but I convinced myself that it could be.”

When I stopped rambling long enough to draw a breath and look up at him, Theo was blinking rapidly with a blank stare on his face. It looked like he was holding his breath. He reached out to caress my cheek with his hand, and I pulled back like he’d burned me.

“I have the money. I can give it back to you. I just didn’t know what to do with it.” Without waiting for him to respond, I went to my nightstand, withdrew a sock—bright purple with pink pigs on it—and pulled out a wad of cash—the thousand dollars he’d given me to ‘take care of it’.

When I pressed it into his hand, I saw the moment all my ramblings made sense as he looked from me to the pile of bills in his hand and back again, his mouth working like a fish. Open, close. Open, close. Open, close.

Finally he found his voice. “Are you saying… what I think you’re saying? That you…didn’t have an abortion?”

Crap crap crap.

I’d had a speech planned in my head, but at the look on his face my mind went blank, and words failed me. “I don’t need you to do anything!” I cried again. “I’m not asking for anything from you. I just…I couldn’t do it. I’m not against it, like for other people and different circumstances, but not for me. Not for these circumstances.” Black dots swam in front of my eyes, and I swayed on my feet. My stomach roiled. I ignored it all and pushed forward. “I couldn’t do it,” I whispered, not sure what else to say.

“You’re still pregnant?” His voice was a thick, husky whisper.

I opened my mouth to answer him, my knees buckled underneath me, and the world went black.

CHAPTER 4

THEO

It took me a minute of stunned shock as I realized the weight of what she was telling me before I could react to her collapsing at my feet. Technically, my last question went unanswered, but I was pretty sure the confirmation was there.