Page 20 of Daddy's Reckoning

I’d accepted my fate at this point and my gut was still twisting over our half- finished conversation, so I let him escort me into his bedroom, and didn't even say a word when the first thing he did was tuck me into the middle of his California king. He set my suitcase beside the bed and disappeared, coming back a few minutes later, carrying a tray with a sandwich that rivaled any I’d gotten in a restaurant, a Stanley tumbler full of ice water, the TV remote, and a bottle of Tylenol. He piled pillows behind me, fluffing them attentively.

I let him fuss, because the truth was, I’d never had that in my life before I met him, and though I knew better than to rely on it, I kind of enjoyed it. Or at least, I would while it lasted, because I knew it wouldn’t last.

Theo stared at me expectantly, and not knowing what he wanted, I took a bite of my sandwich. It seemed to appease him, so I took another and another until half of it was gone.

“Your independent streak, and the fact that you’ve come so far, so young all by yourself is one of my favorite things about you.” When he spoke, his voice was so low I had to strain to hear him. “It’s also the bane of my existence. More so now than ever.” He sighed deeply and I could tell he was choosing his next words carefully. “Erin, you didn’t cancel your contract. I’m glad you didn’t, but I’m also hyper-aware that you could have. I wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it, and I wouldn’t have known that I needed to. I would have accepted that the mistakes we made were enough to end us.”

I listened, sandwich abandoned, holding my breath. It felt like I was about to get broken up with, but a tiny voice in my head was telling me not to lash out, not to make assumptions, to keep listening. That there might be more to the story. When Theo continued, I was so glad I’d listened.

“I’m glad you didn’t. I’m glad you didn’t have an abortion. I’m glad you didn’t write me out of your life completely. I appreciate that. So much. More than you know. But it’s not enough.”

I felt like the breath had been stolen from my lungs, but somehow I managed to keep breathing. “It’s not?” My voice came out in a squeaky whisper.

“It’s not. I have been miserable without you. When I showed up on your doorstep today, I came with a mission, because I realized that my complacency was doing us both a disservice. And I didn’t even know how big a disservice.” He took another deep breath and sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, resting a hand on my calf through the blankets as he spoke with an urgency I couldn’t comprehend. “I’m not, especially now, willing to continue with things the way they’ve been.”

My stomach dropped to my knees. I felt like I was about to throw up. This all just felt like a giant tease, a roundabout way to get to telling me that I’d been right all along. My heart pounded in my ears. I threw back the blankets, ready to bolt. Where? To the bathroom, out the door? I didn’t really know.

Theo narrowed his eyes and his touch got firmer. “I am your Daddy,” he continued. “You are my babygirl. This is what I want, it’s how I feel, and now, circumstances being what they are, I’m not willing to accept anything else.”

I blinked furiously, trying to process the turn of events. This was not where I thought his speech had been going.

“I know it’s not just up to me,” he said. “I know a relationship and a dynamic is a two-way street. I need you to agree, and honestly, I don’t know…I won’t know what to do if you don’t.”

I nodded, the movement so small I wasn’t sure he could even see it, or if I’d just imagined I was doing it.

He must have seen it, because he kept going. “You will cancel your contract. I need you to do it today, and if we need to renegotiate, we will, but I need us to make this official.” He grabbed my hand, emotions I couldn’t quite reconcile shining in his eyes while his passionate urgency held me captive. His gaze held mine and his teeth dug into his bottom lip. Finally, he whispered, “Say something. Please.”

I tried to speak but it came out a croak. Licking my lips, then sipping from the tumbler of water he’d given me, I tried again. “I… okay?”

“Okay?” His expression went blank. I could tell he didn't know what to make of my answer. I didn’t know what to make of his speech.

He was offering to be my Daddy, for real? Was that what was happening? It seemed that way, but I couldn’t trust it. I also knew the only reason he was doing it was because of the baby inside me. Whether you wanted them to or not, babies changed everything. I wanted it. So badly I could taste it, but not out of obligation, or some misplaced sense of chivalry. Not like this. My baby, our baby, deserved better. I deserved better. And so did Theo.

“I… I’m not sure what to say.”

Say yes! My inner voice screamed.

I couldn’t.

His face fell, and the hopefulness that I hadn't been able to name until that moment faded from his eyes. “Okay,” he said with a curt nod.

I instantly wanted to take it back, to say anything else. But I couldn’t. Pride wouldn’t let me. Even if he was disappointed, I knew I was doing the right thing. Wasn’t I?

“I’ll go,” I finally offered. “Thank you… for caring. For making me go to the doctor, for taking care of me, but… we don’t… you don’t have to do this. I’ll be okay.” I swallowed thickly, staring down at the tray still in my lap, unable to meet his gaze.

“Absolutely not.” The hardness in his tone jerked my attention upward to his steel-set jaw, narrowed eyes, and furrowed brows. “You don’t have to be with me, but I’m in your life now, whether you like it or not, and I will be taking care of you. You and our baby. You heard the doctor. You need to be monitored in case something like that happens again, or in case your blood pressure spikes or drops too drastically. I don’t trust that you have anyone else in your life you’re willing to let do that.”

He was right; I didn’t, as painful as it was to admit, even to myself. I wanted to agree. The idea of letting someone take care of me, someone as kind and wonderful as Theo, was too appealing, and I could see that he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. I could have fought him, but I didn’t want to.

“Okay,” I said, nodding my head. “Thank you. But just for the weekend.”

His face shuttered and his eyes, already dark and cloudy, got darker. “We’ll see about that.” Then he offered a smile that was both fake and forced, patted the calf he’d been gripping tightly and stood. “You need to get some rest. Finish your lunch and try to take a nap. I’ll be back to check on you later.”

Before I could so much as nod, he was gone, closing the door behind him, leaving me alone.

CHAPTER 5

THEO