Page 29 of Daddy's Reckoning
“You are?” She cocked her head and searched my face. “That’s kind of cute.”
I cleared my throat. I didn’t like being called cute, but the look on her face was changing my mind. If “cute” was what it took to make her smile at me, I’d be cute all damn day, every damn day.
“Well…” I smiled. “I do aim to please. Without further ado…”
Shifting her in my arms, I reached down to turn the handle and push open the door. I hadn’t looked at the room myself yet because I wanted to be surprised, but I had sent inspiration pictures to my designer, so I at least had a vague idea of what to expect. The floors were a dark hardwood, the walls a soft beige. A sleek modern-style crib painted in a light cream sat in the corner of the room, and the matching changing table was against the adjoining wall. In another corner were various boxes of baby things. A wooden highchair, what I’d been assured was the best travel system on the market. A bassinet for if she wanted the baby in her room for the first little bit. A pack and play. A baby swing, a walker. For a moment, I wondered if I’d gone overboard. Done too much. Maybe she would have wanted to pick some of those things out.
“Theo!” Her soft gasp of surprise had me looking down at her wide eyes. She squirmed in my arms, fighting my hold. “Put me down! I want to look!”
I gently and carefully set her on her feet, and she rushed across the room, oohing and ahhing at every detail while I stood there nearly shaking with relief.
“D-do you like it?” I asked.
Why was I stuttering? Gritting my teeth, I couldn’t help but glare. Where had that come from? That was a remnant of the old Theo. I thought I’d left him in the past. Correction: I had left him in the past, but apparently, Erin now brought out that shy, insecure side of me. I didn’t like it.
She, however, didn't seem to notice.
“Oh, Theo!” She smiled up at me from where she was now kneeling on the ground inspecting each of the boxes. “I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel not picking things out myself, but it’s perfect.” She laid a hand on her belly. “Somehow it feels more real now. Like… this is actually happening.”
I nodded. I was having one of those moments myself. Crossing the room, I knelt down beside her. “I tried to keep it neutral and not go overboard. I figured we could personalize it with a few extra touches ourselves once we knew what we were having.”
Her nod was quick and light. “So you want to find out, then?”
“I’m dying to know, but…” I shrugged. “We can keep it neutral if you want to be surprised.”
She shook her head. “I’m dying to know, too. I do like the neutral, though. It’s prettier than I would have thought. It’s soothing. And we still have so much to buy. All the little things. Clothes, blankets, bibs, towels, washcloths, diapers, wipes….” She trailed off, looking pensive. “Honestly, I don’t even know what all we’ll need.”
Hoping the haze of our moment wasn’t about to fizzle out, I sucked in my teeth. “Well, about that…” Standing, I put out my hand, and when she took it, I helped her to her feet. The urge to pull her back into my arms was strong, but the walk to the closet was only a couple steps. I didn’t need to be that protective. I wanted to, but knew I’d suffocate her if I went too overboard.
I pulled open the closet door, revealing what I hoped wasn’t a huge mistake. Boxes of diapers adorned a top shelf. Racks stacked with towels, washcloths, bibs and blankets came up from the floor. A dozen tiny, neutral-colored outfits hung on the smallest hangers I’d ever seen.
“Oh!” she gasped, reaching for one of the sleepers. Grabbing it, hanger and all, she turned it toward me. It was the softest cream fleece, embroidered with a tiny bear in one corner. “This is precious!”
“Yeah?” I grinned. “I picked that one out myself.”
“This is what he or she is coming home in,” she announced.
I got all warm inside, almost as if I could feel my heart swelling in my chest. Were my eyes watering? What the fuck was happening?
Unable to speak, I could only nod for a moment. But I forced my neck to move, bobbing my head up and down. When my eyelids stopped stinging, I smiled. “That sounds great.”
“This is great. All this….” She waved her arms around the room. “This is what I needed. To see that you really wanted it, I think. That you weren’t just saying that to make me feel better.”
Her admission surprised me, but not as much as when she leaned up on her tiptoes to press a kiss across my cheek. “Thank you, Theo,” she whispered. “This is wonderful.” Her voice sounded thick. Was she about to cry, too?
I cleared my throat again. “We should… we should get you out of here. There’s still more to see, and then you need to eat dinner and rest.”
“Yes, bossypants.”
She didn’t use a title, or even my name, but it was the first time in days she hadn’t fought a statement like that just for the sake of being difficult. Had we rounded a corner? Had my plan actually worked?
Bending, I lifted her into my arms, carrying her bridal style. This time, she looped her arms around my neck and hung on without protest.
Encouraged, I made my next stop at her “office”. Another room I wasn’t sure how she’d react to. What sorts of things did a doctor need in a home office? I’d kept the colors and the wood light and welcoming, a sharp contrast to the dark mahogany and black in my own office. The room had already been outfitted with a wall of floor-to-ceiling built-ins, and I’d purchased a few books to go on them, as well as some knick-knacks that reminded me of her. A large oak desk pointed toward the window. Robins- egg-blue curtains framed an idyllic outdoor scene. I’d made sure to give her the office with the perfect backyard view.
It had been the right choice. She patted my chest and pointed to it, seemingly too excited to use her words, and I carried her over to the view. A large willow tree was off to the side, and yes, I already had a tire swing hanging from it, because I wanted her to see the full picture of what could be. In the center of the yard a play structure with slides and a swing, and a giant wooden fort on top beckoned. Off in the distance there was room for a garden if she wanted one.
“It’s… wow.”