Page 113 of Escape
“Me, too,” Kerri added.
Tears filled Jessica’s eyes, and as she swiped at them, she said, “This helps so much. I appreciate the gifts, obviously, but it goes way beyond that for me. This situation has been such a mix of excitement and fear. Obviously, I can’t wait to meet my baby, but I’m afraid of having to do it all on my own. Knowing I’ve got some support from my friends at work means the world to me.”
I couldn’t say I didn’t understand that sentiment. I’d felt the very same way as Jessica, even if for an entirely different reason. Wanting to offer her some solidarity, I said, “It’s going to get better, Jess. I can only imagine how scary it must feel going into this next chapter of your life and feeling like you’re all alone, but you’re not. I’ll be here for you.”
“Us, too,” Brenda added, gesturing toward the rest of the ladies at the table.
“Thanks, girls. I really appreciate that.”
“If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s fine, but have you heard from him?” Lori asked Jess, referring to her baby’s father.
Jess shook her head. “Not really. Or, well, not in the way I had hoped. Dan’s contacted me a couple of times over the last two months or so, but it’s never been about the baby.”
Kerri asked the questions that immediately popped into my head. “Are you joking? He doesn’t ask about the baby at all?”
An audible sigh filled with disappointment escaped. “I wish I were joking.”
“So, what does he say when he calls, if not to discuss the baby?” Brenda pressed.
After lifting her glass of water in her hand to take a sip of it, Jess shared, “I mean, the topic of the baby is sort of unavoidable, but he’s not the one who brings it up. I don’t know what his goal is, but he’ll call and just ask me if I want to get together. The first time he did that, I got excited and agreed. I foolishly believed he was having second thoughts, that he’d gotten scared when he first learned I was pregnant, but ultimately realized he needed to step up and do the right thing. I believed he loved me and wanted to reconcile, to try to work things out.”
The despondency in her tone was heartbreaking. Seeing that look on her face and that tone in her voice hit close to home for me. I used to be that person.
“I can only assume, based on the way you are now, Dan wasn’t interested in working things out,” Lori declared.
“You would be correct,” Jess confirmed. “I think he thought he could sweet talk me into being okay with being a booty call, but I made it clear I wasn’t interested. Even still, it hasn’t stopped him from trying. It breaks my heart, and I feel guilty for the baby.”
“Guilty?”
With a slight nod, Jess explained, “I wonder if I’m doing more harm to my baby by not doing whatever I can to keep Dan around. Shouldn’t I be doing what I can to not push him away?”
Before anyone had the chance to respond, I blurted, “No. Absolutely not.”
Several sets of eyes snapped in my direction, but it was Jess who spoke. “No?”
I offered an apologetic look. “My heart breaks for you. I wish there was a way to fix all of this and make it be what you want, but I can’t. What I can do is tell you that you deserve so much better and promise you that you’ll get that.”
“I know I deserve better, but I’m not convinced I’m going to get that,” she murmured. “Who’s going to want me?”
“The right man,” I insisted. “Look, you all know just some of what I went through. When I tell you how easy it was to feel like nothing would ever get better, I’m not joking. It was awful. And Jess, I’m sure you’re feeling this horrible sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, like you’ve ruined everything. It’s just not true. I’ve been through hell, experiencing such terrible things in my life, so I understand that feeling of despair. But it got better for me, better than I ever thought possible. I waited a long time for Huck, longer than I would have liked, but he’s been so worth it. Coming from someone who had no hope, trust me, you’re going to come out the other side of this better than you could have ever imagined.”
Jessica smiled at me as Kerri said, “That was very sweet of you to say, Josie.”
“And encouraging,” Jessica added. “I know it’s not going to be easy; I hate that I’ve got to do it on my own. But you’re right, so I’m going to lean on the people I do have in my life right now for help, and in the end, it’s all going to work out.”
“That’s the spirit,” Lori bubbled.
“Alright, time for gifts,” Brenda announced. “I’ll go first.”
For the next hour or so, the girls and I showered Jessica with gifts for her baby. Beyond that, we continued to offer words of encouragement and promises of help as she entered this next chapter in her life. She was fortunate to have a good family behind her as well.
By the time we decided to call it a night—the pregnant woman was growing more and more tired by the second—it was safe to say she was in a much better headspace than she had been at one point in the evening. I’d had a wonderful time, and I was excited about having more opportunities in the future to get together with these women.
For now, I was eager to get back to the guy who’d made it possible for me to have this experience.
So, after we all made our way out of the restaurant and helped Jessica carry her gifts to her car, we said goodbye to one another. Then I walked beside Lori toward her car, pulling my phone out of my purse as I did. The conversation I’d had with Huck earlier this morning rang in my head, and I thought I’d have some fun with him now when I sent him a text.
Josie