Page 55 of Escape

Too much time had passed.

I didn’t want to appear paranoid, but I thought it had been a lot longer than necessary, and I was beginning to worry.

The last thing I wanted to do was interrupt Josie or make her think she had to rush—I didn’t want that at all. If she wanted to spend hours soaking in the bathtub, I didn’t mind in the least. I wasn’t going to be the one to stop her.

But if I said I wasn’t concerned at all about her safety, I would have been lying. I’d been pacing for the last fifteen minutes, wondering if I was being overly cautious. She’d been in there for about an hour now, and I didn’t know if that was longer than I should have anticipated her taking.

I tried to weigh both sides of the situation before making any rash or foolish decisions.

This was likely the first time in years, if ever, that Josie had the freedom to do something as simple as taking a relaxing bath without needing to worry if someone would cause her harm. She deserved to have the opportunity to enjoy it.

But there was the part of me that recognized she was also still in the early stages of recovering from several horrific injuries, and it was possible she’d hurt herself or needed some assistance. I didn’t want her to think I’d abandoned her… again.

Maybe that part was a bit of the guilt I felt creeping in. I was truly attempting to balance trying to provide legitimate care to Josie because she needed and deserved it with smothering her entirely for my own selfish reasons.

Yes, selfish.

It wasn’t easy not to blame myself for the situation Josie wound up in. Sure, I realized I hadn’t pushed her to be in the relationship she had been in, and the moment I learned what was happening, I took steps to get her out. But I knew how things had been for her back in high school, and I never did anything except take her word that she was going to get out of her father’s house and be okay.

I should have stuck around. I should have been sure. If I had, where would her life have taken her? Was it possible she would never have suffered another day? Would we have been together?

There were dozens of questions I had running through my mind, and none of them had any answers. And the reality was that my questions about the what ifs weren’t all that important right now. The only thing that mattered was what Josie needed.

So, it was on that thought I decided it was best to check on her. I wouldn’t intrude or rush her; I’d merely confirm she was doing okay.

I stepped back into my bedroom, moved toward the closed door that led into the bathroom, and knocked gently on it. “Josie?”

“Huck?” she returned.

Hearing her voice allowed some of the tension to ease in my body. At least she was awake and talking. But I couldn’t relax completely, because I wasn’t quite sure what I heard in her tone. Was she worried? Relieved? Something else?

“It’s alright if you’re still relaxing and want more time. I just wanted to check and make sure you were doing okay and didn’t need anything,” I said.

Moments passed without a response. I was unable to think anything but the worst—the worst being she was annoyed I couldn’t seem to give her the time and space she needed to do something she hadn’t been able to do in so long or she had somehow managed to injure herself and was too embarrassed to ask for help.

With there being a possibility of her needing my assistance, I couldn’t allow her potential annoyance with me to stop me from doing what was necessary. So, I spoke again. “Josie, honey, are you okay?”

“I’m okay, but I’m stuck,” she answered.

“Stuck? What do you mean?”

“I didn’t realize just how much I relied on having two fully functioning arms, and I can’t quite figure out how to wrap a towel around me let alone get myself dressed on my own. I’ve already given up on washing my hair, but I don’t think I can convince myself it won’t be awkward if I’m walking around naked all day.”

I closed my eyes and balled my hands into fists.

Don’t picture her naked, I thought.

Despite my efforts not to do that, it was an impossibility. I didn’t think I’d love anything more than to see her walking around my house naked. Then again, I’m not sure how much walking she’d be doing if that happened, because I knew I’d make every effort to find ways to coax her into my bed with me. Of course, that didn’t come as a surprise. I hadn’t had the privilege of seeing her in nothing yet, and fully clothed, Josie made it difficult not to want to have her in my bed.

“Huck? Are you still there?”

Josie’s concerned voice broke into my thoughts, forcing me to shake my head and forget more of my self-serving interests.

God, what was wrong with me?

Josie needed my help, and I was here thinking about how badly I wanted the opportunity to have her naked in my bed.

How had I not realized or considered just how difficult it would have been for her to perform some of the most basic tasks with her shoulder being injured?