Page 118 of First Ritual

His attention dropped to the book in my hands. “You had a burning curiosity about Ailments of the Heart?”

Dang. Really? My focus dropped. Yep, that was indeed the title. “Got to look after the heart, right?”

Wild returned his attention to my face. “We do.”

“Glad you agree,” I said brightly. “I’m done here. I’ll catch you later.”

Darkness swam in his dark eyes. If there was ever a time I didn’t want to look into them, it was when I felt like this—incapable of swimming and entirely capable of drowning. I didn’t want to see anyone who knew enough to look inside. Sven, Huxley, Rooke. Even Corentin.

I walked a few steps, then turned back. “Hey, I meant to ask you something.”

Wild straightened. “What is it?”

Why did this feel odd to say aloud? It shouldn’t. “You mentioned being able to sense where I am all the time. How do we stop that?”

A weight crushed my chest as the words left me. Did he feel that too? Almost like a punch to the stomach? I steeled myself. The mating ritual made me feel that way. Without it, the thought of someone knowing where I was all the time was bizarre and creepy. I wasn’t asking anything unreasonable.

Wild’s expression smoothed again. “It’s bothering you?”

“Yeah. I thought a barrier may help. Then you don’t always need to have me occupying your mind either.”

“That would be nice,” he said flatly. “Give it a go now.”

I hadn’t had much of a chance to ponder the elements for a barrier between us. Wild and I didn’t have a tether, but I’d met his magic several times. I drew forth the memory of his magical signature and tied that at the base of my barrier. I wove magic through my battle affinity to form a repelling charm, then added in charms for obscurity and silence. I couldn’t do anything that would demand too much energy as this barrier would be up until Wild and I figured shit out. “How’s that?”

He hummed. “Less apparent. Try adding a decoy charm over the repelling charm.”

Ah, good idea. A decoy charm was similar to what lay around the Buried Knolls. It was why a human would come to the area fully intending to hike here and end up way left or right of it—or back where they’d come from. “What about now?”

Wild closed his eyes. “Much less. I don’t think I’ll be able to feel you out of eyesight.”

I released a breath. “Great.”

“Great,” he echoed. “I’ll see you later. Proven are meeting now.”

“I better get going then.”

He tensed. “You’re being treated as a proven in Caves?”

“Apparently.” Waving overhead on my way out, I left him in the library, moving quickly in case he decided to walk with me. I exhaled again, feeling the breath shake out of me. That’s what I felt. Shaky.

Being with Wild made things worse.

I didn’t want to deal with him anymore. I quailed at the thought of how much I’d allowed the quad to test my magic—to know of my past. To think that my secret could be common knowledge to a person other than myself.

The thought made me sick.

A magus harboring a demon could only be abhorrent. A dark-magic-thriving creature of anti-nature. Anti-mother. Anti-magus. I didn’t begrudge demons as a species. I just understood they were—in every way—opposite to me. We were as oil and water, existing together while never, ever mixing. To have both exist in me… I felt as though oil sloshed inside me with each movement, coating my organs and filling my pores.

How could no one see that I was a monster?

I felt invaded.

I felt afraid.

“Bronte,” someone sighed.

I caught sight of Corentin down the passage.