Page 131 of First Ritual

I tilted my head as I placed my feet on the stone floor and stood. “Just try to stop me.”

“Wild,” Sven said sharply. “Back off, man. There’s no need—”

“There’s no need?” Wild roared, making Rooke jump. “She’s pulling away. She’s hurting herself. Not sleeping. Barely eating. She wants to cut me off, Sven.”

Wild stormed my way.

I held my ground, pissed off enough not to back up.

A furious growl ripped from his chest. His voice was layered by the creature within. “You’ll eat if I have to force the food down your throat. You’ll sleep when I command. I demand your happiness, and you shall give me your pain.”

Someone whistled.

I’d never give anyone the agony I felt, and I didn’t give a fuck about this creature hurting me. Not when I was fighting a demon from within too. I had no energy. “No.”

Wild stood to lose this coven and his life here if his parents got wind of what was happening. I wasn’t about to unload the truth of my demon on him and let him know how truly fucked he was.

Huxley spoke calmly as though Wild wasn’t about to snap my neck. “You believe there’s a demon blocking your divination channel.”

I sucked in a breath. No.

No.

Please no.

“We considered that,” Huxley said. “It’s impossible. Magus and demons can’t survive that combination.”

Wild continued glaring down at me, but I tore away to look at the bespeckled grimoire.

“Wild did feel a dark presence during your affinity test when you tried to unblock your divination channel,” Huxley read from the notebook. “But demon? No. Impossible.”

My heart was in my mouth, yet I felt emboldened by their dismissal of demon possession. Enough to put forward a fear knowing they’d palm it off. “After my journey with Rooke, I ended up at the base of the north mountains. For the second time. That’s demon turf.”

The quad looked at each other.

“It is?” Huxley’s face was awash with excitement.

Sven rubbed his jaw. “We didn’t know that.”

“But it’s impossible,” Rooke blurted. “Demons and magus can’t mix.” She shuddered, and our bond emitted a low, sorrowful coo.

She peered at me. “Bronte… My words just made you sad.”

She’d confirmed how disgusting others, even my cousin, would find me.

“You really believe it’s a demon,” Rooke said next.

I’d vowed to leave the coven before this happened. I hadn’t figured on five magus holing me up and digging into my business. All my fear and sadness and regret and guilt and everything bubbled into one word. “Yes.”

The admission was a punch to the gut.

Huxley shrugged a shoulder. “Impossible.”

Part of me wanted to believe that. Denial would be a welcome coping mechanism. Yet I knew better than to deny things on this big of a level. I could deny that lack of sleep wasn’t affecting me, and lack of food. But to deny that I harbored a demon was careless. Spineless. Irresponsible to my future and those of the people around me.

I was okay if the quad and Rooke believed it though. Maybe if they could deny things enough, and I went along with their denial, we could continue to be what we once were.

“I don’t believe we should discount other reasons for the dark presence,” Corentin said.