Page 162 of First Ritual
Rooke lowered her hands. “I do feel something for him. I don’t think it’s enough.”
“Enough to what? Have fun and see where things go? Have a few months of great sex? See if there’s something deeper? Why put so much pressure on yourself? If Sven believes you’re his union, that’s his risk to take. You’re not responsible for his heart until you choose to be. You’re responsible for yours, and he’s a big boy, Rooke.”
She sat beside me. “This was easier when it was fake.”
“Tell me about it.”
Rooke rested her head on my shoulder. “What happened with you and Wild?”
“I saved his life by riding his face. I’m a hero. My vagina has magical properties.”
She snorted. When I didn’t, she straightened to look at me. “He… you. I don’t know where to start unpacking that.”
I gave her a run down, from the denial in the moss forest to me and Wild getting sick to the hours of pleasure after. For the first time since the intervention and Rooke betraying our bond in that small way, I opened up to my cousin. “Things feel too raw now. I have a plan though, but Wild and the guys can’t know about it.”
“I’m your girl,” she said.
“You may want to hear what we’re doing first.”
Rooke shook her head. “I’m your girl.”
“I want to force a demon out of my body.”
Her eyes widened. “I’m y-your girl.”
“You sure?”
She pursed her lips. “I’m sure I’m going to help you. I struggle to believe that we’re dealing with a demon. That’s impossible.”
“It should be. I’m sure about it.”
Rooke squared her shoulders. “Then where do we start?”
“There have been a few developments. My mother was reading a book on demons before she left the coven.” I took her through my theory that she’d pissed off a demon and left to save the coven. “Then I was speaking to Varden yesterday morning. My mother became obsessed with a project in the year prior to leaving the coven. He thinks she hid the true purpose of the project because it might have been controversial to the coven.” I blew out a breath. “How the hell do I figure any of that out?”
Rooke’s tone was dry. “You know you’re talking to a divination affinity, right?”
“Mine is blocked.”
“Mine isn’t.”
Oh yeah. “I have objects of my mother’s. I can figure out where she spent most of her time using those.”
“Then we’ll use the objects and any locations you find to draw forth a retelling. If secrecy was her aim, the past may yet be shrouded, but often we’ll glimpse a few things. Or we may get lucky and get a crystal clear retell.”
How would I feel if I got to see my mother again? I couldn’t prepare myself for such a moment, but I had to try this. “What about now? I can get Mother’s necklace and gemstones.”
“Sure, I want to go see the sunflower field, but I can do that this afternoon.”
“I didn’t go yesterday. We could go together.”
Rooke looked at me. “You didn’t go?”
A sadness creeped into my chest. “Vomiting and saving a life, remember?”
Her expression cleared. “Oh, that’s right.”
I hated that she believed I only hadn’t gone because of that—that I hadn’t wanted to go with her or have her join me and Berry and the others. “Rooke, if I had gone yesterday, and you weren’t there, I wouldn’t have enjoyed myself half as much. I feel happier that things have worked out this way, where we can go together. Please don’t feel that me hanging out with other people means you aren’t important.”