Page 105 of Silver & Gold

“I thought you said you needed me with you,” Seth argued, pacing through the cell.

“I do, in general, just not at this moment.”

“I don’t see the point of this. Stop staring at that table.” Halting on the other side of it, Seth tacked on, “Please.”

Across the table, Raider’s eyes came up to meet his. They took a little longer to focus. In clean shalvar pants of dark blue silk, with a yellow sash encircling his waist, bare-chested in the way he preferred, Raider looked so much like he had when Seth had first met him. And yet, he looked completely different. True, his wavy dark hair was combed back from his gorgeous face, as before. In the absence of a beard, all the striking places of his face were fully revealed, emphasizing those prominent cheekbones and hollow cheeks, the sensual lips and fine nose. All of that was deeply familiar to Seth. But something had changed. It was in his eyes.

Seth couldn’t pinpoint it, and it scared him.

Raider said, “I already told you the point of this. He”—no need to ask who he was—“got out of the palace unnoticed. Ten years ago, I got into the palace unnoticed. If I can remember how I did that, maybe we can get on his trail.”

“Is this …” Seth swallowed hard. “Is this because of what I said to you? About having your head in the sand.”

Why the hell had those words come out of Seth’s mouth? They’d been so stupid, so fucking unfair.

“No, but you were right.”

“No, I wasn’t! Goddamn it, no, I fucking wasn’t.”

“The last few months have taught me a lot, and one of those things is that running from the past is pointless. It’s always with you. Better to face it and put it in its place. I’m trying to do that.”

Seth dragged a hand down his face. “But why can’t I be in here with you?”

“Because you anchor me, Seth. You keep me in the present. I need to go into the past.”

Seth shook his head. “I’ve seen you when your mind is in the past. It wrecks you. It rips you apart.”

Frustration showed in Raider’s eyes. “This is different. This isn’t a nightmare sneaking up on me. This is a choice. I can handle it, Seth. Now will you please get out?”

Seth crossed his arms, not ready to give in. “But how is being in here going to help you remember? This isn’t where …” Seth couldn’t quite finish that statement.

“No, but it’s similar. Very similar. Kahzir designed these cells. I think he did his early work here. I think Hassan knew about it. Allowed it, at least in the beginning. But then Kahzir built a laboratory somewhere else. It was hidden, secret. So secret that it enabled him to evade capture after Hassan’s death. I’m sure that’s where he is now.” Raider added, sounding frustrated, “I need to do this. Please trust me to do it.”

Seth exhaled heavily. “Fine. Okay. But I’ll be right outside.”

“Out of sight. Out of the dungeon entirely.”

“Gods. Fuck. Fine.”

Seth turned to go, but Raider stopped him with, “I love you, Seth.”

Seth’s throat constricted. He looked back. “I love you too. I’ll be here when you need me.”

“I know.”

Fuck.

Seth hated this. Never in his life would he forget the terror and horror he’d seen in Raider’s eyes that day when Seth had cut him free of that same goddamn table that he was staring at now.

Sick to his stomach, Seth stormed up the dungeon steps to the door. He went out into the hallway. He closed the door most of the way but not all the way. He needed to be able to hear Raider if he called out. He needed to be able to get to him quickly.

Hands fisted at his sides, Seth paced up and down the hallway. He worked on his breathing. He had to stay focused. Calm. He had to be ready to be what Raider needed.

But he fucking hated this.

Seth wasn’t sure how much time had passed before he noticed Julian. Wearing pale green robes, the young arcanist was leaning against a wall like he’d been there for a while. Seth stopped and stared at him.

Julian hesitated then came to meet him.