Page 107 of Silver & Gold
Julian stared at Raider. “You don’t … you don’t remember what Kahzir did? Or, gods, you probably didn’t even realize what he was doing, did you?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Raider said.
“Um … gods, this is very uncomfortable to explain,” Julian muttered.
“Just tell me.”
“Kahzir was subjecting you to a mind-altering drug. Kind of like a truth serum, it opened pathways in your brain and rendered you vulnerable to manipulation and suggestion. That, along with the electroshock of what he referred to as the Box—”
“Whoa, hold on,” Seth interrupted. “What the hell are you talking about?”
Julian glanced at Raider. Raider’s expression was bleak, his amber eyes haunted.
Julian asked, “Can I tell him?”
Raider said, “I will. Kahzir had a, um, yeah, a Box. Like a sarcophagus. It was part of the table. It would come up and close me in—”
“Fuck, Raider.” Seth rocked toward him again, but again, that hand held him back.
“I mean, I knew he was drugging me and I knew the Box was confusing me, but I don’t understand any more than that.”
Julian’s face scrunched, “It’s difficult to explain to someone who’s not an alchemist.”
“You don’t need to. Tell me about this drug you made.”
Julian touched his pocket. “It should neutralize Kahzir’s drug. The empress gave me the book back so I could recreate it—I had to, Seth,” Julian insisted when Seth growled. “I needed the original drug to reverse engineer it. So I could test it.”
“So who’d you fucking test it on?”
“Adavasti. He volunteered. I didn’t force him!”
“Go on,” Seth prompted.
“The thing is, I can’t be sure if it will work. For one, Adavasti isn’t human.”
“Neither am I,” Raider said.
“But you’re half. You don’t have Adavasti’s magic or incorporeal nature.”
“Can I have it?” Raider asked. “Just in case.”
“Of course.” Julian pulled the syringe from his pocket and handed it to Raider. “That’s why I made it. For you.” He added, echoing Raider, “Just in case.”
Raider swallowed visibly. “Thank you.”
As Raider tucked the syringe into his sash, where once there had been a gaudy dagger that Seth would much prefer to see there, Seth demanded, “Just in case what, Raider? You’re scaring me.”
Raider pushed away from the wall and walked to Seth. When Raider’s arms closed around him, Seth felt himself start shaking. Raider’s hand splayed over his back.
“What are you scared of, Seth?”
“Losing you. I feel like you’re asking me to let you go somehow. There’s something in your eyes that I don’t understand. You’re distant. You’re not with me—I can tell.”
Raider leaned back from Seth, amber eyes locking on his. “Oh, baby, I’m not asking you to let me go. I don’t want you to do that. I’m asking you to trust me to do this and come back.”
“It’s not at all that I don’t trust you. It’s that I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I’ll heal.”