Page 34 of Silver & Gold
When Raider’s muscles started to loosen, Seth slid his hands between Raider’s torso and thighs. Raider tensed against the intrusion then relaxed at Seth’s words, letting Seth get a grip around his torso, letting Seth pull him back into the bed. On their sides, Seth snugged Raider into the curve of his body. He kept an arm around Raider’s torso and pressed his face into Raider’s hair.
Raider slowly relaxed. His breathing returned to normal.
“You didn’t leave me,” Raider whispered. “In the dungeon. You came back for me.”
Seth wasn’t sure what that meant to Raider, but he knew what it meant to him. He said, “I love you.”
Raider’s breathing stuttered.
Seth rubbed Raider’s chest. “Why is that hard for you to hear?” Seth had noticed it in front of Atri’s temple, how Raider wanted those words but couldn’t quite accept them.
“I don’t know.”
“Do you not believe me?”
“It’s not that. I just …”
“What?”
“I … don’t deserve it.”
Seth didn’t like that response. In fact, it made him pretty fucking angry. But anger wouldn’t help. Reasoning wouldn’t help either, not with something like that. So Seth only said, a little more harshly than intended, “You’re wrong.”
Raider let out a small huff. “Oh, I am? As simple as that?”
“Yes, Raider, as simple as that. You’re dead fucking wrong.” Seth added more gently, “But thank you for telling me the truth of how you feel.”
Raider turned over in Seth’s arms. One of Raider’s legs slid between his. Raider’s upper arm hugged Seth’s torso.
“I love you too,” Raider said softly. “That’s a more important truth. That’s why I didn’t want you here. And I don’t know what happened today in the dungeon. I don’t how you got us out of there. But I’m sure it’s not good.”
“I’d rather talk about it in the morning.”
“How bad is it?”
“It’ll be okay. We’ll manage.”
“Is Julian okay?”
“Yes, I think so. I haven’t seen him yet, but when we were walking here, Nasrin—the woman of the Hammer?—she told me he’s in another room.”
“I’m sorry I got you into this.”
“Technically, I got you into this. If not for me, you’d be back in Shalaa, drinking raaki and harassing strangers.”
A surprised-sounding laugh came from Raider, and, gods, that was good to hear. Seth smiled.
Then Raider said, “I’d rather be here with you than without you in Shalaa.”
“Gods,” Seth gasped and clutched Raider to him. Raider buried his face against Seth’s throat, and they clung to each other until they both understood how deeply, how fundamentally they were together.
CHAPTER 13
RAIDER WAS BETTER NOW. He was fine. He was fucking fine, and he didn’t understand why the hell Seth couldn’t see that.
Yes, okay, so he’d acted a bit weird after the dungeons, but that had been two fucking days ago. And yet, here they were on their second dull day in the imperial library and Seth kept looking at him. Not an appreciative looking. Not an I-want-to-fuck-you looking. Just … looking. Checking on him. As though fucking was the farthest thing from Seth’s mind. In point of fact, they hadn’t fucked since before this whole damn mess had begun.
And it was, most definitely, a mess.