Page 64 of Silver & Gold

Raider clung to Seth. He wanted them to be alone. He wanted to be able to talk to Seth, really talk to him.

But that couldn’t happen. The rainstorm had given them a unique moment of privacy, but it wouldn’t happen again, not in this company. There could only be this stolen moment.

Desperately, not even sure what he meant, Raider asked, “What are we going to do?”

Something passed through Seth’s eyes. He looked like he was going to say something. Confess something? But he only murmured, “Don’t worry, baby. We’ll be okay.”

CHAPTER 21

SETH WASN’T SURE what he’d done to raise Raider’s suspicions, but he’d clearly done something. Really, though, he’d gotten away with his secretiveness far longer than he would ever have thought possible.

If Raider hadn’t been struggling so much with all the memories forced on him in Kastari, he would have been asking questions earlier. While Seth had been researching. During the weeks of travel.

Of course … it wasn’t just that Raider was distracted. It was also that he trusted Seth.

Seth hoped like hell he wasn’t about to shatter that trust. He was already damaging it by avoiding Raider’s questions. Those questions had been indirect.

Did you come across anything about giant scorpions in your research?

What do you think we’ll find in Ulam?

Raider was trying to lure Seth into a confession. Seth could tell by the look in Raider’s eyes, by the tone that said he knew Seth was up to something.

Seth had questioned himself a lot about whether he was doing the right thing by keeping his plans from Raider. Was he making the same mistake as when he’d hidden his conversation with Julian?

Maybe. But this was too important to risk Raider’s refusal. It had to be this way.

Besides, the chance to discuss the plan had expired as soon as they’d left the Pink Lotus Inn and put themselves in the company of Zarina’s black-cloaked arcanists.

And that one Fadesh …

Seth had been telling himself that he disliked the man because of his involvement in Seth’s interrogation in the imperial dungeon, but that wasn’t it. Nasrin had been involved that day, too, and she didn’t ring Seth’s alarm bells in the same way.

Seth didn’t like the way the arcanist had his hood up all the time. Yes, the sun was brutal, but the habit was starting to seem … sly. And there had been more than one occasion when Seth had seen Fadesh make a sharp turn to avoid Raider.

Seth suspected that Raider hadn’t noticed the arcanist’s avoidance because Raider himself was also (still) avoiding everyone. That troubled Seth. Raider was very social, much more so than Seth, and yet he was keeping apart from everyone but Seth.

Things had been a little better after they’d fucked the other day, but with Raider suspicious of Seth, the ease was only partial.

Gods, they needed to get away from these external pressures so they could talk openly and reconnect like they needed to. So they could fuck like they needed to. Sex was a deep connection for them. It was fun and it felt good, of course, but the important thing was that it made them open to each other.

But that was the problem for Seth right now. He couldn’t be open. That was why, except for what had happened the other day after the scorpions, they hadn’t been having sex.

In the past, it had been Raider’s secrets creating tension between them. Raider still had some secrets (including a very big one that Seth didn’t know whether to address with him), but it was Seth’s secret that was getting between them now.

That secret, however, was necessary. And soon it would be exposed. Because if Seth’s calculations were correct? They would reach the gorge this afternoon. Seth would act surprised, like he’d had no idea it was coming. They would be forced to stop for the night and consider their options.

And when night fell? Seth would hope that Raider, with only two immediate choices—go along with Seth or turn him in to the Hammer—would choose to go along with him.

Right now, they were stopped for a midday rest. Everyone was busy with the usual activities: eating, stretching, performing routine maintenance on the palanquins.

Seth was looking for Raider.

He found him a little apart from the caravan, staring off into the distance. Seth came to stand beside him and followed the direction of his gaze. Seeing nothing but rolling sand dunes, he glanced at Raider. His face was shadowed by his dark red kaffiyeh, but Seth could still read the intensity of his expression.

“What is it?” Seth asked, getting out his arcane scope.

“I’m not sure. Do you see anything?”