Page 8 of The Breaker of Stars
“I don’t do it for that reason,” I admitted.
Vale tilted her head, but didn’t push. She did, however, perch on the corner of my desk, planting herself to stay, and the casualness of that action ticked at something inside my chest. It was an ease Tolek offered Ophelia. A gentle but wordless reassurance of, if you want to talk, I’ll listen, but without any pressure.
“My mother is sick,” I explained, swallowing and crossing the office. I fell into the worn leather chair behind my desk and toyed with a loose string in the seam. “She has been since I was little. Something in her mind, I don’t know what. She doesn’t see healers, but it’s been over a decade of catatonic stares.”
“And you’ve cared for her since you were a boy.” There was something in her eyes I couldn’t quite place.
“It’s always been me. My father has never been around, so I’ve been it for her.” I fought to keep the bitterness from my tone. “We were close when I was young. We moved around a lot until we settled in Palerman, but she was already gone by then. I wanted to start training—wanted…friends—so I enrolled myself in lessons. Met Tolek, Malakai, and Ophelia on my first day, and we never moved again.”
Vale observed me for a long moment. I slammed up my guarded expression, but she seemed to dig past it. Discomfort beat against my bones.
“Your mother hasn’t answered your letters.” She didn’t ask questions, I realized. Vale somehow knew.
Maybe it was a Starsearcher trait, something devised from reading futures, but Vale was someone I instinctually trusted. And my instincts rarely led me astray. So, I pried open wounds and explained things I rarely shared.
I shook my head. “I write to the neighbors, too. One letter per week, a few families on a rotation. They know I’m residing in the mountains now and have promised to ensure she has food and is taken care of. It’s all I hear of her.”
It was the only way I could stay in Damenal. The only way I could assuage a sliver of the guilt I waded through upon leaving her.
That emotion in Vale’s eyes softened further, and I finally placed it: admiration. I didn’t deserve it, not for doing what anyone should do.
“Why won’t we see the market?” Vale asked.
Ripping myself back from that memory, I cleared my throat. “Change of plans for tomorrow.” I cleared my throat again, my voice stubbornly rough. “We have to leave early. Head toward Lumin.”
Vale stiffened. “Why Lumin?”
I chewed my words carefully. “I overheard men downstairs talking about fighting rings.” Her brows shot up, but I explained what they’d said and finished with, “They say Starsearchers are now betting readings rather than coin.”
“I can’t?—”
“I’m not asking you to read,” I promised. My knuckles went white from my grip on my fork at the thought. “I’m going to fight.”
Vale studied me for a moment. Then?—
“No,” she demanded, and this time my brows rose. “I’ve heard about the rings in Lumin. They’ve always been ruthless—dangerous. I’m sure they’ve only gotten worse since the war.” She shook her head, as if convincing herself further. “No.”
Her resolute refusal pried at something in my chest, unsettled and raw. “Too bad,” I said. “You don’t get to decide where and when I fight.”
“Don’t be so?—”
“So what?” I cut her off. For a moment, we glared at each other in silence, both dropping our forks. I leaned forward. “In case you forgot, I do this often. I’m capable of beating whoever this man is, and we’ll be one step closer to figuring out this mess and going home.”
Her jaw ground at my choice of words. Which part exactly had done it? Was it the mention of home, since she hadn’t seen hers recently?
That was the point, though. If she wanted to return to her precious Titus, we needed to finish this. To figure out why her visions were faulty and how they were tied to the Angel emblems, given that she fainted when trying to read around them.
If we wanted an end to not only this assignment, but this entire mess, we had to go to Lumin.
Then, Vale could leave like she’d always intended.
Her silence after an actual conversation tugged at my weak heart, but I shoved it off. My emotions could stay out of this.
“Fine,” Vale finally conceded. “I suppose it’s good I spent time around Tolek.”
“Why?” I asked, eyes narrowing.
“Because I’ve learned how to gamble well enough that I should be able to win some information before you’re beaten to death in the ring.”