Page 17 of Where We Ended
“Was it bad this time?” Her whisper cut through my sternum as effectively as a sword.
Bad didn’t cover what my father did…what he subjected me to. There was no way to explain the darkness that came for my soul, hungry and always waiting every single time I stepped onto the bus and was forced to see Fable.
The feel of the gun in my hand, the heavy weight of taking another’s life when I had no choice in the matter at all. The blood that poured into the dirt under a sunny sky, the green grass now shimmering red. My father patting my shoulder as he turned away.
Now take the tips of his fingers, Silas. Alec, you take the teeth.
Natty pulled my hand free from her hair and tangled our fingers together.
“Tell me, Silas. You always tell me when you come back, and you let me take some of it from your shoulders.”
My voice cracked. “Isn’t sitting on my shoulders, Caelum.”
She watched me, tugging my hand closer and holding on tighter.
“Then from your soul,” she murmured, and leaned her head on my shoulder. “Let me take it from there.”
“I’m not letting you near this diseased thing.” I’d laugh if it wasn’t so fucking painful.
The truth was my soul was forfeit, and at fifteen, there was no hope that I wouldn’t turn out exactly like my father.
Natty let out a sigh. “Silas, you’re not beyond hope. You never will be.”
My throat was tight, and it seemed to swell with something uncomfortable. “How do you know?”
“Because you have me, I’ll be your hope. I’ll be your sun, your moon and anything else good in this world. Give me your dark and I’ll hand you all my light.”
For the first time since I was first shoved in front of my father and told to kill, I wanted to cry. And fuck, if I did.
A single tear slid free from my lashes, and the warm breeze hit my face. Then another and another. I couldn’t keep them back as I let all the rage in my heart break through my walls and I let her have it. I sunk down, until my head was in her lap, and I let her fingers comb through my hair and I cried as the sun bathed the world in a summer glow.
I let Natty take my hurt, my demons, and I trusted that she was bright enough to keep them all at bay.
It was dark by the time I got back home.
Natty had gone into the club to check in with her mother…it was merely for appearance at this point. She slept here, even if it was on the fucking floor. She had clothes here. My mother shopped for her and took her to doctor appointments. She was ours, but her mother was a petty woman who made my mom’s life hell if Natty didn’t pretend she was related to the woman who couldn’t keep her legs closed long enough to avoid getting knocked up by some random club member.
My mother was sitting at our kitchen table, a skillet meal prepped, still warm and three plates set around the space. A tiny pang of guilt pierced through me.
“Sorry, didn’t realize the time,” I muttered, walking to the sink to wash up.
My eyes burned from crying, and my body felt lethargic from the lack of water I’d taken with me. All I really wanted to do was take a shower and go to sleep, but my mother had cooked. I would never make her feel like I wasn’t grateful for the fact that she was a good mom, especially in a club full of shitty ones.
“Natty visiting her mother?”
I nodded, taking a seat next to her. “She’ll be back in about thirty minutes…Lilly said she bought Natty some clothes or something.”
My mom scoffed, then sipped from her beer.
“Clothes Natty will likely burn if they’re anything like what Lilly wears.”
That was true. Lilly wore a lot of leather, and Natty wore cotton t-shirts, jean shorts and flowy dresses that twirled around her ankles when she walked around the house.
I nodded my agreement then scooped up a bite of the chicken, broccoli and rice.
“Silas…you’re different this time. I need to know what Fable made you do.”
I kept my gaze down as I continued to chew.