Page 32 of Where We Ended
“Forgot about that.” I rubbed my neck, feeling like shit.
“Mom hasn’t been sleeping here for a while then? How long have you been living with this heat?” I had been on the road, and in the club…in between jobs, so I hadn’t even slept here yet.
“It’s fine.” She turned away from me and dropped the celery into a large skillet.
It wasn’t though. Natty was trying to stay safe, and she seemed more worried than normal.
“Does this have anything to do with why you won’t step foot in the club?”
Her back was to me now, so I moved away from my spot and slowly came up behind her. I only hesitated for a single heartbeat before placing my hands on her hips and pulling her into my chest.
“What aren’t you telling me?”
I was terrified she’d reject me, but her hand came over mine, warm and solid. I closed my eyes and pinned my forehead to her shoulder, breathing her in. I’d wanted this for so long, to cross this line with her. To move us from platonic friends, and proverbial foster siblings to this, where I could touch her and tell her how she seemed to exist in my bloodstream.
She had been my obsession for as long as I could remember, and this moment of finally being able to hold her without fear of her slipping through my fingers had been something I’d been waiting for.
She let out the smallest sigh and leaned into me. “It’s nothing. I’m just trying to be smart, and I’ve been working, so I’m not here that often. When I am here, I want to be aware of things. You taught me that.”
Her finger stroked my hand, and I pulled her closer, hugging her to my chest.
“I missed you.”
She turned in my arms, and I reached forward to turn off the burner. Her green eyes were bright and full of something I’d seen a million times before but could never place.
“I missed you too. Are you going to tell me what he did this time?”
This again. She always asked and I always let her take some of my burden, but this time…as the new name began circulating, a deeper shame accompanied the truth I had to share.
“Not this time, Caelum. Please just let me keep it all inside this time,” I whispered, pinning my forehead to hers.
Her hands came up, stroking my back. “Maybe we’re at the age where you can show me in a different way, not using your words. You can pour that darkness into me, Silas. I can carry it. You can have me… in every way, you always have anyway.”
Hope sparked in my chest along with a deep longing that nearly robbed me of breath.
“Are you…are you sure?” My mouth was so close to hers, so close I could smell the cinnamon on her breath, and the way she smelled like new books, sunshine…and gunpowder, “You’ve been shooting?”
She nodded. “I practice every day, just like you trained me.”
My hands disappeared into her hair, towing her closer.
“And yes, Silas.” She wet her lips, watching mine. “I am sure.”
I pulled her chin up, not letting any more time slip by and pressed my mouth to hers. Her lips were soft, silky and perfect. She moved her mouth with mine, opening for me and twisting her hands up around my neck.
Our first kiss, and I couldn’t help smiling into it. She laughed, and then her tongue came out, tracing my bottom lip.
“Give me the rest, Silas. I want all of it.”
Her whispered demand went straight to my heart, like a hammer shattering all the rock around it.
I walked with her in my arms back to my room, laying her gently on the bed.
There, we shed our clothes, along with the casings of our souls, until we were completely exposed, openly surrendering to one another. I held her in my arms while I claimed fragments of her heart, fusing them with whatever was in her soul, and I absorbed it all into mine.
“Caelum,” I rasped, kissing her deeply, knowing it was a vow just as much as a plea. My lips trailed over her skin, memorizing every taste.
She was mine, and after taking all her firsts and offering her mine, I knew she would be for always.