Page 86 of It Destroys Me

The door opened, and Axel and the guys stepped down the stairs and left the plane.

She stayed in my lap and seemed to have no intention of leaving.

The pilots left and then the flight attendants.

It was my plane, so I could sit there as long as I wanted. As long as she needed.

“I—I shot him.” She whispered it to me, like she didn’t want the world to know what she’d done. “It happened so fast.”

“It’s okay, sweetheart.”

“I meant to shoot him. It’s just…that’s not how I meant to do it.”

“I know.”

She stayed burrowed into my chest and started to cry. “I can’t get the image out of my mind.”

She’d been around this world for a long time, but she’d never seen anything firsthand. Never watched a bullet leave a gun. Knew people were killed but never witnessed it herself. She wasn’t a killer. She wasn’t like me and Bolton. “Don’t feel bad, sweetheart. He gave you no other choice. You may have killed him, but you’re still the victim in all this.” I kissed her hairline before I brushed her hair out of her face.

After she cried a while longer, she sat back and looked at me, eyes red and puffy. “He was about to hurt me when you arrived. Was angry that I’d been crying over you. If you’d waited just an hour…” She never finished the sentence.

And I didn’t want her to. “It’s over now. You’re free. We’re free.”

She gave a slow nod before she sniffed. “I didn’t think you were going to come.” Her eyes remained down, like she didn’t want my explanation.

“I wasn’t going to…until Axel talked me into it.”

She lifted her gaze and looked at me.

“I couldn’t risk Axel’s family. But he said you were family too.”

She’d just stopped crying, but now her eyes watered once more. “I love him.”

“He and Scarlett love you too.”

She sniffled again before she wiped her tears with her forearms. Dawn had arrived an hour ago, and the sun shone directly in her face, making her eyes sparkle like a flowing river in the light. With red eyes and puffy skin, she was an emotional mess, but she was vulnerable and real…and beautiful.

“As do I.”

Her eyes had been on the window as I spoke, but she flicked them to me at hearing my words. Her body went still. Even her breathing stopped. Time seemed to stand still as she absorbed the echo of my words.

“I love you, sweetheart.”

I hadn’t touched her things in my bedroom or removed her belongings from down the hall. I’d left it exactly as it was because it was less painful to endure it than to remove it. The vanity in the bathroom still had her cleansers and creams, along with her makeup bag. I’d had my butler put a vase of flowers on her bedside every night like she was still there.

When she walked inside, she stilled noticeably, like she expected a whole new place. She stared at the bed for a long time before she crossed her arms over her chest. She was still frazzled, as she’d been on the plane, and she needed more time to decompress. She moved to the armchair near one of my dressers and sat down, arms still crossed over her chest.

I wasn’t sure if I should give her space and leave the room. Or if she wanted to get something off her chest. I tried not to wonder if she’d slept with Bolton because I understood she didn’t have a choice in the matter. I’d prefer it if she did choose to sleep with him…versus the other scenario.

I’d rather not think about or discuss it at all.

“I didn’t sleep with him.” Her eyes were down as she said it. “He tried, but I always got out of it.”

I hid my reaction as best I could, but the relief was like the fizz that released out of a just-opened soda can.

“I made efforts in other ways and was able to delay the worst. But it wouldn’t have lasted much longer.”

I was glad I’d listened to Axel. If I’d refused another day, it would have been much worse.