Page 119 of Cruel Steps
Rose chuckled, but handed me a mug. I filled it, adding sugar and creamer. The first sip was heaven, and I sighed blissfully.
“Breakfast is almost done. Can you see if Hope’s gonna join us?”
“Oh? Me?” Rose nodded, and I sat my mug down. “Where?” She pointed over her shoulder, and I headed to the back of the cabin. There was only one door closed, so I took the chance it was the right one and knocked. “Hope?”
“Come in.”
Anxiety crept up my neck, but I shook it away. I wasn’t letting Hope bully me anymore. Opening the door, I blinked in surprise at the room. I expected Hope to be laid up in bed, but instead, she sat at a desk working on a computer, her casted leg propped up.
“Your mom wanted to know if you wanted breakfast?” I said when she didn’t turn around.
“Um, sure. Hey, can I ask you a question?”
“Me?” I asked like a dumbass. Was my brain in my butt? Because it was the only thing I’d hit this morning.
“Unless a person is hiding behind you.” I turned, too dazed to realize she was teasing me. “Yes, you, Emerson.”
“Oh. Sure.” I stepped into the room and glanced around for any traps.
“I’m not going to do anything,” she said.
“Sorry. Habit.”
She deflated and nodded. “This might sound naïve, but I didn’t realize the impact my words had on you.”
“You’re joking, right?” I crossed my arms, my earlier hesitation gone now that I had my footing.
“I’d built you up in my mind as this unbreakable force. You never gave up. You kept dancing. You came to school. You kept pushing forward. I justified it. I believed if you could still do all that, then what I did wasn’t all that bad.” I opened my mouth to protest, but she stopped me. “I know. It’s not an excuse. Regardless, if you could handle it, I didn’t have the right to do any of it. I took my anger, fear, and jealousy out on you. It wasn’t fair, and I destroyed something in the process. I’m sorry I took your safety.” She swallowed. “I know what that’s like, and I hate that I did that to someone else. At some point, my self-hatred fueled me to ignore everything else I was feeling.” She wiped away a tear, and I stared at her, dumbfounded.
“I don’t know what to say. I feel for you, Hope. I do. But the things you said and did left scars. It’s hard for me to trust people now and believe that good things can happen to me. I fought for so long that I eventually got tired. If it weren’t for your mom, I would’ve rotted in my room this semester. I knew I couldn’t return to Brighton, but I did nothing about it. The fear you’d built paralyzed me.”
“I’m so sorry, Emerson. I know I can never make it okay, and I’ll say it to you every day until my actions match it.” Tears fell down her cheeks in streams now. I’d never seen Hope cry before, and it disarmed me.
Wiping my own tears, I took in a shaky breath. “What did you need help with?”
She smiled shyly, and I recognized it as a real one—one she used to give when we were friends, long before she became my bully.
“I was hoping you’d read my proposal. I’ve been working on it for weeks, and I think it’s off to a good start. I’d like some feedback on whether I’m on the right path or if I need to change directions before I get too far into it.”
“Oh, wow. Yeah, sure, um, email it to me. I know you know it.”
Hope cringed. “I deserve that.”
Something lifted off my chest. I still didn’t forgive Hope, but I didn’t feel as angry either. Maybe we could heal the wound between us. I didn’t know if we’d ever be friends again, but I’d like to be civil with her—if just for our parents’ sake.
“Do you need help to go to the kitchen?”
“Thanks. I got it.” She grabbed her crutches and lifted herself out of the chair. I held the door open and let her go through. She paused in the doorway, glancing over her shoulder at me.
“Don’t let my mistakes ruin Holden’s chance. He doesn’t know how to be anything other than protective. It’s his biggest flaw and greatest asset.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re just friends.”
“Don’t play dumb now, Mer. I’ve seen how you look at him when you think no one is watching. But more importantly, I’ve seen how he looks at you, and he doesn’t care who’s looking. He’s in love with you. He just needs to figure it out.”
Stunned, I nodded and followed her out into the hall. Had my sleep orgasm fried my brain? Hope was giving me love advice. With her brother, of all things. And she believed he loved me.
Yeah. There was no way. She clearly didn’t know her brother as well as she thought.