Page 160 of Cruel Steps
“Not really. I wanted to do my own thing, not follow after my step-sister.”
“Aren’t you guys close?”
“Yeah, but from her stories, I knew my time here would be hard.”
“Why?” I asked, furrowing my brow.
She glanced at Cody, who nodded. “Hayward isn’t known for being queer-friendly. There’s too much old money and beliefs. But you, my dear friend, are turning everything upside down. It’s made me want to be brave, too.”
“I don’t feel courageous. They made me want to hide. I often feel like I’m barely treading water.”
“You’re a fighter, Peanut. You don’t give yourself enough credit,” Cody said, kissing my cheek.
“You’re yourself, and don’t apologize for it. That’s huge, Mer. You’re changing the dynamics of this campus. You might not see it, because your two boyfriends block a lot of what is going on around you, but take a look.” Jenny pointed out the lawn where everyone was gathered. “Homecoming is usually dominated by the sororities and fraternities. The smaller clubs and groups on campus don’t usually have enough clout to get voted onto the court. This year, you changed that.”
Looking around at the groups of people gathered, I saw there were several fraternities and sororities, but other groups were mixed in, too. They turned and waved when we approached, all sporting buttons with my face and name. It was a bit daunting to see so many people rallying behind me. What if I failed? Would they still think I was this great role model then?
“Wow. That’s,” I swallowed, “great.”
“Don’t freak out. The fact you made it on the court shows a change is coming. You don’t have to win for it to make a difference.”
That made me feel marginally better, but it still felt like a lot of pressure.
A girl with a clipboard rushed over to us. “Emerson, there you are. We need you on stage.”
Cody and Jenny waved me off, and I followed the girl. At least I’d get to see Holden soon, since he was on the court as well. He had to come straight from class, so we hadn’t been able to meet here. Unfortunately, Colter had too much work to catch up on from being out last week to join in the festivities. I didn’t know what to expect, but I was here, so I’d just go with it.
A group of girls stood off to the side. Looking down at my outfit, I’d clearly misunderstood the assignment. They were dressed in cut-off shorts, school t-shirts tied at the waist, and ponytails. The four girls turned to look at me, eyeing me as I approached.
“Oh, look, fat Harley Quinn is here.”
I blinked. Had they really just said that? Before I could respond, the girl with the clipboard ushered us onto the stage with me at the end.
“Welcome to the first event of Spirit Week, Wolves! It’s time for me to introduce your Homecoming Queen nominees!”
The crowd roared and applauded. I looked around for Holden, wondering where he was. He was supposed to be here. Nerves shot through me, my mind spinning as I tried to remain calm. I couldn’t freak out on stage.
“Our first nominee is Larissa Jones from Chi Gamma. She’s a political science major, and her favorite hobby is volunteering at the soup kitchen. Let’s give it up for Larissa.”
People clapped, but I couldn’t focus on them. My heart rate picked up speed, and sweat gathered under my armpits. I kept scanning the crowd, something feeling off. When I spotted a black figure with a hood up, my breath caught in my throat.
No. No. No.
“Our third nominee is Caitlyn Farrell from Kappa Mu. She’s a biology major, and her favorite hobby is reading to sick kids. Let’s give it up for Caitlyn.”
I blinked, having missed a name. My eyes were locked on the lone black figure. Was it him? Was he watching me right now? Had he done something to Holden? I glanced off to the other side of the stage, spotting a group of guys, but Holden wasn’t there. Looking back to the crowd the figure was gone. My breathing picked up, and I balled my hands into fists.
Oh no. What should I do?
A shove to my shoulder sent me flying forward and I fell to my knees, the girls behind me laughing.
“Oops, it seems our fifth nominee had a little spill. Are you okay, honey?” the emcee asked. I nodded, standing. My hands and knees stung, but I wouldn’t let them know. I hadn’t watched the other girls, so I didn’t know what to do now. He gestured, so I walked to him.
“Our last nominee is Emerson Adams, a member of our Wolfettes. She’s an English major, and her hobby is…” he paused, glancing at me before returning to his card. “Um, I’m not sure this is right.”
“I sent what I was given,” the girl with the clipboard said, shrugging. My panic subsided as confusion took hold. I glanced around, still not seeing Holden or Owen, and my panic rose. I needed him to read it so I could get off this damn stage.
“It’s fine. Just read it,” I said.