Page 121 of Stolen Summer
“I never said that. Truth? If you had said you wanted to give us a shot, I would have taken it, but we both know I’m the wrong choice. I’m not Crew.”
Crew I understood. Cole? He made my brain hurt. “I might not have been able to tell you apart before, but I can now.”
“That’s not exactly what I was implying.” The touch of amusement in his features faded quickly. “Before you make any definite decisions, you should know the truth.”
A loud sigh resonated in my head. “I’m not sure I can handle any more Riley truths.”
The somber line descending on his mouth reminded me too much of Crew. A very not Cole trait, and I got a flutter of nerves. “Well, I can’t stand to see the two of you in agony anymore. It’s gone on long enough. Clearly, you have feelings for my brother, which goes beyond my scope of understanding. Do you love him?”
My arms wrapped around myself. I didn’t have the energy for this conversation. “I fail to see why that matters. I can never forgive him.” I did my best to keep my voice steady and firm.
“It’s not Crew who needs your forgiveness.” Cole took a breath, his eyes shifting off my face briefly before he said, “It’s me, Quinn.”
I blinked, my world tilting. “What are you saying?”
The shadows dimmed in his eyes. “I think you know. You’re punishing the wrong guy. Crew wasn’t driving the car that night. I was. We were both wasted, but I’m the one who insisted I could drive, that I was fine. Clearly, I wasn’t it. But Crew took the fall. He always takes the fall. He was protecting me. It’s what Crew does.”
This was so fucking surreal. I almost didn’t believe him, but something in the solemnity of his face had my stomach pitching. “You were driving that night?” I repeated as if I needed to speak the words to make my mind accept them.
Cole nodded.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Did it matter anymore which Riley hit the car I’d been driving that night? Regardless, they lied. At this point, they were both hella guilty as charged. And I was starting to think I didn’t know them at all.
And yet my gut reaction after Cole confessed had been to see Crew. What for? Did I want to confront him? Tell him I knew the truth? Tell him I had feelings for him? Was that what I wanted?
I couldn’t believe this.
Just when I began to wrap my head around the idea of Crew being responsible for the car accident, Cole went and turned my world upside down. Again. It was a never-ending roller coaster with them. I didn’t know how to get off the ride. I couldn’t decide if I liked the thrill, the high heights, or the rush when I came crashing down. Or if I loathed carnival rides altogether.
I screamed into the pillow, desperate for the down feathers to take the conflict, the uncertainty, the rage, the want, and the longing churning in me. I stopped screaming when my throat hurt and my voice cracked, and with the air in my lungs depleted, I felt sorry for the pillow.
And myself.
Frankie came home late. Sometime in the early-morning hours. She tiptoed into our room, the sweet, distinct aroma of alcohol emitting from her as she climbed into bed fully clothed. It didn’t take long until I heard the gentle, rhythmic sleep whereas I still lay wide awake, counting invisible sheep on the ceiling.
That shit never worked for me, but what else could I do except think of him.
And I was tired of expending energy on Crew.
I was damn exhausted, and all I wished for was a few hours to shut my brain off.
I got perhaps two patchy hours in total, and despite how tempting it was to stay in bed for the rest of the day, I rolled off the mattress like a boneless zombie, shuffling into the kitchen, and brewed a strong pot of coffee.
I thought I didn’t care. I told myself it didn’t matter. I yelled at my mind to focus.
No amount of discipline changed the fact Crew had wormed his way back into my thoughts. I could blame the kiss. I could fault Cole for spilling the truth. Yet somehow none of the rational thought processes worked through the weekend. By Monday, Crew still consumed me.
I made it to midday before I finally had enough. I hadn’t skipped a single class since starting WU except today. I should be sitting in the human development lecture hall. Instead, I combed the campus looking for the object of my intrusive thoughts. I couldn’t continue to be distracted by him.
The only way to stop the uncontrollable, whirling thoughts was to face the problem. I had to put an end to this madness. I needed to talk to Crew.
Yet as my feet rushed over the ground, I still had no idea what end that would be.
Love? Or hate?
After checking the frat house, I realized I didn’t know shit about Crew’s schedule, not that he stuck to it according to Cole. I had no idea how to find him, but I didn’t have time to waste scouring every corner of campus. The grounds were just too damn big for that.