Page 49 of Finally Home
“Oh, my sweet girl.”
Moisture springs to my eyes when I hear her voice, but a fresh rush of embarrassment follows quickly on its heels. Dropping back down to the bed, I hide my face in my hands and cry as Mama Gray wraps me in her arms. Her familiar scent soothes my frayed edges as she pats my hair.
“It’s alright, sweetie, just let it all out.” Her voice strips the cover of numbness I’ve hidden under the last few days and sobs explode out of my throat in a sound so mournful, it startles even me. It feels like a pressure valve is released on my soul, and I’m finally able to grieve the things I’ve ignored for too long.
I relive feelings of abandonment toward my mother and the guilt I feel that my dad traded his own happiness for mine for so long. I’m glad he found Caroline, and I can’t wait to meet her, but I’m terrified to have another mother figure in my life. Even if she hates me, I would never ask my dad to break up with her when he’s finally happy, especially knowing he delayed that happiness for twenty-four years.
I cry from the unresolved trauma associated with Derrick’s verbal abuse. I endured it for four years only to be cheated on and publicly humiliated. I grieve my traumatic divorce. It was so hard to watch the person I thought I knew become unstable. Derrick’s threatening texts have stopped, but I remember the way he looked at the trial and the way he blew up when the judge finalized our divorce. Even though I’m angry with him, I still care about him as a man I once loved.
I mourn the lost time that I’ll never get back with Rhodes because we were both too afraid to admit our feelings, but at the same time, I know this is exactly how things were supposed to happen.
And finally, I struggle to cope with the aftermath of my leaked sex tape and how violated I feel.
I let out every bit of pain while the closest person I’ve ever had to a mother rocks me like a child. It’s cathartic and everything I tried to tell myself I didn’t need. I have no idea how long we sit there, but the sun is high in the sky and casts a blinding light through the room when I finally lift my head off her soaked shirt and wipe my tender eyes.
Cupping my cheeks in her soft hands, Kaci lifts up my head and uses a tissue from the nightstand to wipe my face. I’m sure I look a mess with snot and tears all over, but for once, I can’t bring myself to care. The color of her eyes reminds me of Rhodes, and the tears threaten to start all over again. If she’s here, that means he probably is too, right?
She smiles sadly at the look on my face and shakes her head. “He’s not here, Wren.”
My hope is stomped into the dirt with her admission, but she’s quick to correct herself.
“He’s not here because he knew you wanted space to process this yourself without your boyfriend coming to the rescue. Jamie called him and told him you were safe but needed time. When a few days went by with no word from you, we were all worried, so it was easy for me to hop on a plane when Wesley called.” She pauses to snicker. “Plus, it’s been years since I had a cute boy come calling, and it was fun to rile up Dominic a little bit on the way here.”
That pulls a small huff of laughter from me, and I’m sure that was her goal. But my insecurities still roar full force in my head and heart, along with the heavy weight of all the things I need to do.
I try to talk again but a tickle in my throat sends me into a coughing fit, so I take several long sips of water before I’m able to rasp out, “I think I need to call my therapist.”
Kaci nods, but we’re interrupted by a knock on the door. It opens only a few inches, revealing a face so much like Rhodes’s, it makes my stomach twist with guilt at the reminder that I ran away.
“Hey there, Wren,” his deep voice soothes me just as much as his wife’s…until he opens his mouth. “I hate to be the one to tell you this, kid, because you’re still very cute, but you need a shower.”
Kaci and I scoff at the same time and say, “Rude.” We turn to each other with crazy smiles and shout, “Jinx! You owe me a Coke.” We burst into giggles, but I catch a whiff of my own breath and cringe. Dominic is right, I desperately need to take a shower and brush my teeth before I do anything else.
“Alright.” Resignation drips from my words. “I need to get ready and then I should probably head to the stadium to get a fix on where my career stands and if this will make it easier to circumvent my contract.”
Mama Gray kisses my head one more time before she leaves, dragging her husband out with her as she chastises him for his insensitive comment. Then I’m alone for the first time all morning, so I finally make my way into the bathroom.
I go through my routine on autopilot. The numbness is gone after the ridiculous amount of crying I just did, so I’m hopeful the calm I feel is acceptance. From all the murmured arguments I’ve heard through the walls, it’s safe to assume I’ll be losing my job today, and while the thought makes me sad, I had planned to leave anyway. I can’t help but wonder if Derrick will have any consequences.
I think what scares me more is that this scandal could impact my ability to get a PR job anywhere else. After all, who wants a public relations manager who can’t even manage her own public image? As I step into a shower that’s hotter than the sixth circle of hell, I brainstorm ways to handle the fallout from all of this.
The reminder of the video sends a shudder through my body despite the scalding water beating down my back. I still feel violated, but I also understand it wasn’t my fault. I couldn’t have stopped something out of my control. This is all on Derrick. He might’ve released the tape as payback for the divorce if his last texts are anything to go by, but I wish I knew for sure.
He barely showed any interest in me after the first months of our marriage and it only got worse over the last four years. So why would he be so angry about a divorce? Is it just because it made him look bad? He has always been concerned with his image, which is part of why getting the video that started all this was so shocking.
As I dry off, I realize something just doesn’t add up with this whole situation. The more I think about it, the more confused I get. If I’m fired and he gets off scot-free again, it doesn’t look good for his public image. I mean, Derrick isn’t a complete idiot, but I also don’t think he’s smart enough to release a tape and then cover his tracks.
Unless… he had help from someone who’s really good with social media.
Trying to puzzle it out is giving me a migraine, so I drop it for now and focus on doing my makeup to perfection. If I’m about to walk into my job only to quit or be fired, then I want to look damned good doing it. I refuse to let them make me feel bad for something that wasn’t my fault.
Everybody except for my dad and Rhodes are there to greet me with hugs and supportive words when I emerge from Jamie’s guest room, but Rhodes’s absence sends a shooting pain to my heart. I have no one to blame but myself. As soon as I handle everything here, I need to apologize for the way I ran and make sure he knows it will never happen again.
CHAPTER 30
WREN
“Miss Reid, thank you for coming; it’s always a pleasure.”