Page 122 of Scarred King

“My darling,” she says happily, “did you forget your mother?”

“No,” I answer awkwardly. “You know I’ve got exams now. I’m just really busy.”

“I know,” she says gently. “How is it going?”

“Fine,” I sigh.

“I thought you would sound happier,” she says in surprise.

“Why did you think that?” I ask cautiously.

“Because you went back to your gangster,” she replies and for a moment it sounds like she’s amused.

“How did you know?” I ask in panic.

“He didn't tell you?”

“Mom, did you really tell him that I came back to Boston? I was sure I was dreaming when he said…” I mutter. “I couldn’t tell you that I went back to him. I was embarrassed.” I rub the back of my neck. “I thought you’d be disappointed with me.”

“Elena, I would never choose that man for you. But it really can't be my choice.” She sighs. “It seems like something bigger than us makes those choices for us, and I couldn't listen to you talking about all the compromises you were going to make anymore.” She sighs again.

“Mom, it really is bigger than me.” I wipe away a tear. “I can’t live without him. I tried, I really did.”

“I know,” she says sadly. “And I trust you to stay out of trouble.”

“I’m trying,” I wipe away another tear. “I made a total separation between our worlds. I don’t go near his bar, I don’t ask any questions about his life and I don’t know anything about what he does when he’s not with me. But now I’m worried that I’ll lose him because of that.”

“You can't do that,” she says firmly. “A woman must be a full partner in her man’s life. I am not talking about a business partnership; I am talking about an emotional partnership.” I sit up on the sofa and take a deep breath. “Elena, if I would have taken my head out for one moment, stopped living in my imaginary world and shown some interest in what your father was doing, everything I am going through now could have been prevented. I didn't ask any questions even when I had suspicions, I did not ask him to tell me anything because I was happy to live in my own shell. And look where I'm today. Even if your man is not perfect,” she softens her voice, “he needs to know that he has an anchor at home. That he can share with you everything he is going through. Home must be his safe and comforting place; his refuge.”

“He isn't trying to share things with me anymore. Maybe I’ve already lost him?”

“Elena, don’t be silly, he is very much in love with you. And if I am not mistaken, you feel the same for him.”

“Even more than you think,” I say in a choked voice.

“Then go, connect your worlds, but carefully. Be smart,” she concludes firmly.

“I'll do it right now,” I answer excitedly. “Thank you, Maman. I love you.”

“And I love you, my darling.”

I end the call and stand up. What can I do now? I pace the living room. Maybe I should wait for him to come home and then talk to him? No… I need to do something extreme. Something that will prove to him and to everyone in his black world that he’s the man in my life, that I'm totally his. I smile to myself as my brain finally starts cooperating and gives me a solution.

51

I dial Ralph’s number and he picks up after three rings.

“What do you want?” he asks irritably.

“Good evening to you too,” I snigger. “Where are you?”

“What do you care?” he asks derisively.

“Come on, Ralph, don’t be a jerk. Where are you?”

“At the club,” he replies, “Why? You want to join me for another date?”

“No.” I smile to myself. “But I need to talk to Victor or Leo for a minute. Can you get one of them?”