Page 14 of Scarred King
“How did you know my address before I told you?” I remove the helmet and rearrange my braid on my back,
“I knew everything about you ten minutes after you came into the bar,” he replies dryly and takes the helmet from me.
I look at him in surprised. “But I didn’t even tell you my full name.”
“Everyone has a wallet in their bag with their personal details,” he smiles, and I pull my backpack from him alarmed.
“That’s invasion of privacy,” I reprimand him.
“So was rubbing your chest on my back during our drive,” he’s still smiling, and I flinch back and nearly trip.
“There wasn’t any rubbing. I had to hold on to you so I wouldn’t fall off the motorcycle.”
“Did you enjoy it, at least?” He is getting up and I put my hand forward, motioning that he should sit back down.
“I know that anyone who manages a place like that can’t be completely sane.” I say angrily. “I hope you enjoyed feeling my body because someone like me could never enjoy being with someone like you.” I emphasize the last word mockingly, turn around and run into the building.
His words make me restless. I shower and feel angry at the fact that he realized that his touch affected me. I’m angry with myself. This twisted truth is screwing me up. Physical attraction is a fiction that ends as quickly as it starts. Intellectual attraction, on the other hand, is something that can last forever.
I dress in clean jeans and a T-shirt and stop in front of the mirror. While I quickly braid my hair, I inspect my body for the second day in a row. It feels wrong, as if I’m doing something that goes totally against everything I believe in. I’ve never given a second thought to the way I look. I'd rather spend my time developing my brain. But in spite of how that sounds, I’m not completely socially isolated. I’ve had admirers before, and there are always new ones, that I can have long conversations with about mutually interesting subjects. And sometimes even end the evening with a pleasant sexual encounter. I’ve never experienced real emotional intimacy before, but I've had the kind of intimacy that brings physical pleasure for a while. And then I always get bored. I wholeheartedly believe that when I find my intellectual doppelganger, I’ll be able to form a healthy relationship with him. Not based on an unfamiliar desire I know nothing about, and confuses me, but one that will give me an ongoing intellectual challenge that I can always understand. Right now, nothing is clear to me. I slide my hand over my breast and recall the tingling sensation I got from feeling Scarface’s back. My God, I’m going crazy! I move away from the mirror and go to the living room.
Johanna’s not home. She must be at the library already. This is the first time I’ve ever been jealous of her. Her special scholarship for foreign students means that she doesn’t have to worry about the financial side of things, while I have to look for my way back to equations and formulas in all sorts of shady places.
I go back out to the street and freeze when I see that the black motorcycle is still parked there.
9
“Why are you still here?” I ask angrily, trying to hide the spark of excitement I feel against my will.
“I thought you might like to rub up against my back again on the way to university,” he smirks and runs his fingers through his unruly hair.
“Oh, you’re so disgusting.” I arrange my bag strap on my shoulder and turn away.
“You can’t talk like that to your boss,” he mocks.
“Then fire me.” I start walking and he turns on the motorcycle. “I tried.” He blocks me with his motorcycle. “Really. Several times, if I’m not mistaken,” He smiles, and once again I feel this warm tingling sliding down my back. “Come on, get on.” He hands me the helmet. “I promise not to say anything about your perversion.”
“What? What perversion?” I ask shocked.
“You know…” he stares at my chest and bites his lower lip. I turn pale and he bursts into a fit of laughter.
“That’s not funny.” I move aside and he catches my wrist.
“You’re late.” He points at his watch and I look to the sides, desperately hoping I’ll find a taxi to save me. None is in sight. I fume and slide behind him, moving my hips slightly backward. He turns around, places the helmet carefully on my head and once again there’s not a trace of the beastly side of his face. I take advantage of every second to gaze in awe at the angelic side until he turns back and starts driving.
I try to pretend that his back isn’t there throughout the drive. That muscular back, those broad shoulders….damn. It’s easier when I close my eyes and run through a long and complicated formula that we've learned in a classical mechanics class. It’s amazing how quickly my body cools down and my brain warms up when I enter my magical parallel world.
The motorcycle stops at the entrance of the campus and I get off quickly.
“Thanks,” I hiss while returning the helmet. He smiles. “I’m going now.” I start walking away, then stop and turn around. He’s still sitting there smiling. “Unless… you have some other stupid comment you want to say to me.” I pull my braid down my back, ensuring that no stray locks have escaped.
“No,” he says, still staring at me.
“So I’ll see you tonight.” I sigh.
“Don’t come back tonight,” he says, not smiling anymore.
“Are you firing me again?” I ask angrily.