Page 69 of Scarred King
“If I touch your hair now, do you think I’ll hurt you?”
“I don’t know…” I stutter and the walls start closing in again.
“Will you let me try?” she puts her hand on my shoulder, and I cringe and start breathing heavily. “Elena, can I put my hand on your hair?”
“I don’t know…” I shut my eyes tight and hug my legs until my hands redden.
“If you don’t tell me it's all right, I won’t do it,” she says softly.
“Okay,” I say, before I won't be able to speak.
Her hand caresses my head and my body freezes. Even if I'd want to move her hand, I don’t think I would be able to. She pulls her hand away. “That’s it.” She pats my knees. “See? I touched your hair, and nothing happened.”
I burst into hysterical tears again and the French window slides open.
“Why is she crying like that?” I hear Liam’s terrified voice. “What did you do to her?”
“I didn’t do anything,” she strokes my knee gently. “But now, if she'll allow me, I’ll undo her braid. I promise to be gentle.” I’m so exhausted and dizzy by now, my body feels like a rock. “Elena?” she looks at me questioningly, and I manage to nod only once. She stands behind me and I feel her pulling the elastic band. My crying turns into harsh howls. She strokes my head and very slowly undoes my braid until my hair is loose. I feel totally exposed and I cover my eyes, trying to persuade myself that this will help me disappear from the room and their watching eyes.
“Once again, nothing happened,” she says and sits down opposite me again. “I touched your hair, I undid your braid, and nothing happened. Elena, you are a smart girl.” I move my hands away and peek at her as she smiles at me. “No matter how hard your past was, don’t let it threaten your sense of freedom.” She strokes my head, and this time my body can take it without flinching in agony. “You’re not a child, you’re a grown, confident woman. If anyone tries to hurt you, I’m certain you’ll know how to protect yourself and, in any case, it won’t be about your hair.” She pats me on the shoulder affectionately and I lower my head to my knees as I cry uncontrollably. I don’t know if I'm relieved, nauseous or terrified, but this is definitely a turning point in my life. My body feels beaten and broken and I have to catch my breath.
“I’m done here. You’ll be just fine.” She declares as she stands up. “Call me if she suddenly has a major setback,” she says to Liam.
“Isn’t this a setback?” he asks nervously.
“No. This is just processing and accepting the events after a long period of repression.” She’s talking about me as if I’m not in the room, and strangely enough I feel fine with it. Now I just want both of them to go away so that I can give in to my heartbreak. But she leaves and he stays.
Liam kneels down in front of me. “Elena, how can I help you?” he asks and I hear the pain in his voice.
I stand up slowly. I can’t stop the tears. I ignore him and walk to the stairs slowly. Climbing them seems like the hardest thing in the world right now, but my legs carry me forward and after what seems like an eternity, I fall down on the bed. The harsh scenes from my childhood overwhelm me and I close my eyes. My hair falls over my face and I don’t even have the energy to lift my hand and move it aside. My memories are mixed up with formulas, rules and equations, as I cry myself to sleep.
27
I move my hair aside and open my eyes. Liam is sitting on the carpet, his back to the wall, and he is watching me quietly.
“Thanks to me, now there’s even more drama in your life.” I say in a cracked voice, trying to smile at him.
“If you tell me where that son of a bitch lives, I’ll have him taken down tonight,” he says in an evil voice.
“She told you?” I ask, amazed. “Isn’t that against her professional ethics?”
“Screw ethics.” He grimaces angrily. “She works for me.”
“Everything’s so different in your world,” I yawn and sit up wearily.
“Our world,” he corrects me. “Anyway, I haven’t seen anyone in your fancy world punishing that piece of shit.” He gets up and stands in front of me. “We may have different rules, but they’re quite clear.” He gives me his hand and I stand up. My body is cramped and sore. He massages my shoulders and I groan. My hair is loose over my shoulders and I pull it back in embarrassment.
“Go take a shower and then come downstairs. I’ve arranged supper for us.” He caresses my cheek, careful not to touch my hair.
I shower and go downstairs in a robe. My face is still puffy after such a long nap. Even the hot water didn’t soothe the pressure in my body.
“Wow…” I murmur when I see the lavish dining table. Liam crosses his arms and smiles at me. He’s wearing faded jeans and a white T-shirt. I can’t see his scars, his face is shining and radiating, like a bight aura surrounding it. “I’m not dressed, maybe I’ll go up—”
“Leave it.” He walks over to me, takes my hand and kisses it and I notice that he is still avoiding contact with my long, disheveled hair.
He pulls a chair out for me, and after I sit down, he sits opposite me. There's a white tablecloth on the table, the table is set with fancy plates and crystal glasses. There’s a bottle of wine in the middle, and trays filled with salads and different types of food. My stomach starts growling, but I wait quietly for him to make the first move.
“Are you going to say grace?” he asks seriously, and I turn white. He bursts out laughing and I stare at him in confusion. “What are you waiting for? Dig in.” He pours me some wine and I laugh freely as I stab my fork into a juicy tomato, but the heaviness returns almost immediately. I sigh and I see him looking at me, concerned.