Page 62 of Tangled Roses
My phone vibrates on the table beside the bed, effectively reminding me that business is waiting. It’s always waiting but now takes second place in my life, however, Ellie could do with a break from my rough attention, so I pull back and say reluctantly, “I should go. I’ll work from home today, so I’m here if you need me.”
As I leave her alone in the bed, she says nothing and just watches me leave with a thoughtful gleam in her eye and I wish I had the power to read minds because that is one part of Ellie. I doubt I will ever control.
CHAPTER 37
ELLIE
It’s as if today is the first day of the rest of my life.
Last night was a mixture of emotions, from despair and rejection, pain and humiliation, to euphoria and ecstasy.
It started so badly and yet ended up being the best night of my life and it’s all down to one man.
Arman Romanov. The slightly confusing dark soul who has crept in and stolen mine. I couldn’t leave if I tried, literally, and he is keeping me prisoner in a world that fascinates me.
The mystery, the intoxicating wealth, and the secrets that surround him like a battle cry. He guards his mind well and I never know what he’s thinking, but his actions speak louder than any harsh words that leave his lips. He is a fraud, an enigmatic power wrapped around a soft center, and it may take me my entire life to work him out.
I’m not even sure how long he is mine for, but I’m here now and I have a job to do.
I owe him my assistance to pay for my keep and my grandmother’s diaries are the best place to start.
It didn’t take long to locate them, which was the first thing I did when I finished taking breakfast with Arman.
It was a pleasurable start to the day, where we shared an easy moment together, just talking and casting soft glances in one another’s direction. It feels right to be here, almost as if it was always meant to be, and when he went to his den with Luka, I collected the diaries and brought them to his magnificent library.
I love this room. If I could have designed it myself, I wouldn’t change a thing. Heaving bookcases are filled with books in a large, white, open space that enjoys a panoramic view of the city. Various soft couches are set at intervals around a small fireplace set in the center of the room. It burns with a flame that is controlled by a remote and I select the color blue that provides color in a room that, like the others, doesn’t really have much.
I wonder why Arman lives surrounded by white. It’s strange and clinical and yet is calming and cozy. Soft fur rugs and throws live alongside white flowers in vases that soften the sharp edges. Subdued lighting is courtesy of sparkling crystal chandeliers that provide warmth to an otherwise sterile environment.
There is no dirt, no blemishes and the space is as sterile as an operating theater, but somehow it works. It de-clutters my mind and brings clarity to my situation. No distractions and no fuss. Perhaps that’s why he keeps it this way.
For a man who is all about business, he obviously doesn’t like distractions, and I wonder why he made an exception to that rule for me.
I turn my attention to the task at hand and my heart beats fast as I lift the lid on the nearest box and I stare at the familiar writing on the first page. I have stopped myself from delving into the past, my present is too painful to deal with. The memories will cause me so much pain, knowing that is all they will ever be now.
There is no future for me and the only woman I have ever loved. Our past is all I will ever have now and regret is swirling deep in my soul. There is so much I wanted to experience with her. To share my triumphs, cry on her shoulder at my failures, and share my life with her. To delight in the happiness my children would bring her and to share the triumphs of my marriage, knowing that is all she wanted for me.
Gran was terrified I’d be alone if she left me. I saw it in her eyes and when she fell ill I know it was at the forefront of her mind. She was scared for me and so was I.
I was alone and nothing would change that. It was up to me to make my way in life without her and I hope she would be happy where I have ended up.
As I turn the page, the familiar writing swims before my tear-filled eyes but I push my emotions firmly to one side and set my mind to business, just as Arman does every day. It’s information I need now, not to dwell on the memories and as I start to read, my mind is focused on only one thing. Answers.
CHAPTER 38
ARMAN
Imay be working from home, but for once my mind is occupied somewhere else entirely. Knowing that Ellie is nearby, curled up somewhere close, is messing with my mind.
Breakfast was a pleasurable experience I never appreciated before. It felt good to stare across the table at her. To smile at her excited chatter and delight in the softy sexy gaze of her eyes. I never appreciated how satisfying it is to share a life with the one person who means everything to you. To connect souls and to share the same mission. To want one another and to fight for that.
When I’m not with Ellie, I wonder what she’s doing. Is she thinking of me at all? I hate that I’m so needy and it makes me want to rebel against it, but I know that will never happen. She brings me peace, and I haven’t had that for many years now. Even before my father’s death, I was searching for fulfillment.
I’m not searching anymore.
The morning drags interminably and not even my beloved business can keep me entertained. It’s boring as fuck staring at endless spreadsheets, and as Luka heads off to lunch, I am grateful for the chance to do the same.
There is only one person I want to satisfy my appetite and lunch is the furthest thing from my mind as I go in search of my new obsession.