Page 16 of Redemption
Sloan stood off to the side, her back to me. The black dress clung to her form, making my mouth water. I wanted her. I wanted to go to her. To ask how she was.
I studied her reflection. Her expression was imperious and unreadable. This situation—unbearable.
I kept staring, begging her to meet my gaze. To look at me. Something.
But the moment she did, I regretted it. She was devastating. Her gaze was heated, burning with equal parts want and hate. Hell, I hated myself most days. Knowing what I’d done to us, to her.
Yes, I’d lied. But so had she.
And this was exactly why I’d skipped the rehearsal dinner. My absence hadn’t been due to a delayed flight, as I’d told my mom. Because, as always, I was trying to protect Sloan. To do what was best for her, even when it nearly killed me.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, pulling me out of the past. Fuck. Get your head on straight.
Vaughn: How’d your meeting with the client go?
Me: That remains to be seen.
Vaughn: Turn your history from a conflict into an asset.
He had no idea what he was asking.
I was trying, but Sloan had kicked me out almost immediately. She’d said “No” the moment she’d laid eyes on me.
Fuck if that hadn’t stung.
I’d expected her to put up a fight, but I hadn’t expected this. I wished there were some way to reassure her that I was a professional. That I would protect her. That our past didn’t have to affect our current circumstances, even if I found it difficult to compartmentalize the two.
Was I crazy for even considering it?
I thought about how badly I wanted the promotion. How lucky I was to be offered the position. But all of that faded when I considered the threats against Sloan. My vision clouded. How dare…
The door opened, and I half expected to see my mom waiting there. Inviting me in so I could walk my sister down the aisle. When all I could think about—all I could see—was Sloan. Always Sloan.
“You okay?” Nate asked.
I shook my head as if to clear it. Dwelling on the past wouldn’t change the present, no matter how much I might wish it would.
“Yeah.” I swallowed. “Yeah. I’m good.”
Nate stepped into the hall, closing the door gently behind him. “Sorry about that.” He sighed. “Don’t take it personally. Sloan’s been resistant to the idea of protection since day one.”
I wanted to laugh. She might be opposed to executive protection, but this was most definitely personal.
After our accidental run-in in Abu Dhabi, I’d avoided her. I’d been a coward. I’d swapped with one of the other members of my team so I wouldn’t have to pretend I didn’t know Sloan.
I shoved my feelings down deep, wanting to do what was best for her, even if it ran contrary to my goals. “Perhaps we should see who else at Hudson is available to go with her.”
Two months alone on a thirty-five-foot sailboat with Sloan was asking for trouble. Despite everything that had happened, it was as if the two of us couldn’t be in the same room without our connection sparking to life. Hell, the last time we’d been alone was at my sister’s wedding. And I knew how well that had ended.
I knew we’d be safe—at least, as safe as a sailor on open water could be. But if I couldn’t trust myself to keep my emotions in check around Sloan for twenty minutes, how could I possibly do so for two months?
Emotions were a liability in my profession. Emotions were a distraction. Emotions got you killed.
That was a big reason why we were supposed to maintain a professional distance from the principal. For the sake of both their safety and our own. And having sex with the principal was absolutely forbidden.
“No.” Nate’s tone was firm. He was adamant. “Maverick said you’re the best person for the job. And loath as we are to see you go, I agree. I don’t want anyone else. I trust you.”
He was right. As much as I was dreading this, I also couldn’t imagine sending anyone in my place. This was something I needed to do as much for myself as for her. She might not be part of my life anymore, but she’d always carry a piece of my heart. And I couldn’t imagine a world without Sloan in it.