Page 56 of Building Courage
Tucker felt the instant tension spike in the room as every head went up.
“At zero-dark-thirty this morning, Petty Officer Jordan Toliver was killed during a HALO jump. His chute never opened.”
Shock stole Tucker’s breath and muffled the rest of what Senior Chief was saying. The pain rushed in sharp and deep. Grief clogged his throat and stung his eyes. He held it together because he had to, but it took all his concentration to do so. When Senior Chief dismissed them, he moved automatically to follow Denotti as they left the ready room.
In the rush to gather their gear to catch their transport, he was able to breathe through the pain.
All the things he and Jordan had shared during BUD/s ran through his mind. They’d been sent to different teams but had still stayed in touch when they could. They’d gone surfing together when he’d returned from their last deployment. Jordan had talked about asking Savannah, the girl he lived with, to marry him. They’d been together for nearly three years. He’d called two weeks later to tell him she’d said yes, excited and ready for the next step…a family.
God! It seemed worse somehow because it wasn’t the enemy who had cut him down but someone within their own ranks.
Denotti nudged him with his elbow. “You look a little sick, Gilly. You’re not going to blow chunks, are you?”
He shook his head. “Denotti…Jordan Toliver was my swim buddy in BUD/s. He was a friend.”
Denotti studied his face for several seconds. “I know. You’ve talked about him before.” Denotti fished around inside the bag and handed him two tiny pills.
Tucker swallowed them without asking what they were.
“Just close your eyes, and you’ll be fine in a while,” Denotti said.
He did as Denotti suggested. Tears burned beneath his lids, and he opened his eyes again. He wasn’t going to be fine. He’d lost a friend, and he’d move on with the work, but this loss wasn’t going to go away for a long time.
Chapter 17
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The scent of sea, salt, and fish was carried on the breeze as Brynn took the last few photos. Just below, a colony of sea lions lay pressed tightly together. The hoarse, horn-like bark of one small member of the pod echoed off the cliffs.
Now that this section of beach had been closed for the sea lion’s protection, it had taken weeks to get a permit to make a practice run and take pictures of the sea lions. She needed more experience taking pictures in the wild to prepare for doing the same in Australia. She’d viewed videos of the beaches laden with seals there online and hoped to make it one of the things she documented.
One very large bull sea lion eyed her as she stood on the stairs that led up from the beach. He gave her a rumbling bark as a warning.
“Relax, big guy. I’m not interested in claiming any of your territory or your lady friends,” she said beneath her breath as she clicked his picture.
She worked as nonintrusively as possible, keeping a safe distance from the protective mothers. Luckily, the lens made it possible for her to get some amazing pictures of the relationship between mothers and pups.
She looked out to sea and saw the blue cabin cruiser she’d photographed at the docks in the distance. Raising her camera, she took some quick shots of it.
Brynn removed the large zoom lens she rarely used from the camera, then pushed it into its protective sleeve and gently placed it on the ground. She then removed the SD card from the camera and slipped it into a protective sleeve before placing it inside her postcard-sized purse. The camera went into her backpack. She swung the backpack up and slipped her arms through the straps. Then, she grabbed the strap of the padded storage bag that held the zoom and slipped it across her torso so it would be secure against her body.
She made her way down the beach and then up the steps, leaving the odor of fish and more that lingered around the colony.
The days had seemed to drag since Tucker had gone wheels up, as he called it, for places unknown. He hadn’t been able to tell her anything other than he’d be gone for at least a week.
She’d been relieved in one way. After telling him everything, she felt stripped, emotionally vulnerable, and exhausted. Since he was away, she hadn’t had to figure out how to act. After six days, though, she’d gotten past that. And with each passing day, she became more restless and anxious. Worried.
If something happened to him…
She couldn’t say they were in a relationship. They weren’t connected in any way other than his teaching her scuba. They hadn’t made love. They weren’t a couple yet—were they? She felt they’d been left in a sort of no man’s land. That’s what made the whole situation so difficult. And it was her own fault.
She cared about Tucker. How could she not? He’d broken through the walls she’d built just by being so open and trusting of her. She wanted him, which was a miracle. It had been such a long time since she’d felt any stirring of sexual feelings.
Every time she thought of him, she could hear him whispering in her ear, “I’ll have to come up with something I can do for you.” She experienced that same rush of need just thinking about it.
Thinking about him so much, she realized he’d been seducing her since they’d first met with his subtle touches and the way he looked at her. He’d shared painful, humiliating moments of his life he probably hadn’t shared with anyone else, and that had encouraged her to trust him with hers.
She wasn’t making a mistake by trusting him. She was certain.