Page 52 of Cross Point
She reached for the bottle of whiskey and poured three shot glasses, filling them half-full. “This is important to you?”
“Yes,” both men said immediately.
“Fine. Drink.”
They took the glasses but gave her confused looks as they all drank the shots. Trinity enjoyed the burn as it went down. The idea had come to her that this was the perfect way to loosen them up in order to hash out some of the details of their relationship. And with the amount of shit they had to talk about, she was glad she was only pouring half shots, or else they would all be puking in the morning.
“We have a lot to discuss, and these shots are a way of saying we’re all in agreement.”
“Can’t we just say it instead of drinking ourselves to death?” Maxwell asked.
“Where is the fun in that?”
Jackson raised a brow. “So, you want to make rules for our relationship?”
“More like guidelines so we don’t walk into a clusterfuck like we did earlier,” she clarified. As both men flinched, she waved a hand in the air while she used her other to pour another small shot into each of their glasses. “I’m not angry. At least, not anymore. I’m just still worried that I’m not the right woman for you.”
“Why do you say that?” Jackson asked.
Thinking back to the advice Nikita had given her earlier, Trinity decided to lay it all out there for them.
“Clearly both of you are alpha to the core, but so am I. I’m guessing both of you usually go for women you can bend to your will. I like kink as much as the next girl. Hell, I bet I’m even more adventurous than most, but the domination, control, and the set stages of seduction are just not my thing.”
She huffed out a breath as she tried to find the right way to say what she was feeling.
“I know we don’t know each other well yet, but there are some things I think we need to establish before we can move forward. I would end up hating myself and you if I felt forced to do something that went against who I am. And if I’m not able to provide what you want or need, that’s not fair to you either.”
“What do you mean, Trinity? I want you just as you are,” Maxwell swore.
“We both want you, Katrina,” Jackson said firmly. “I thought we made that clear.”
She sighed. “I know, but I’m still a little worried. I’m not exactly normal, so any relationship I have is going to be extra complicated. I need someone who will stand with me, not behind and not in front. But that’s pretty difficult considering what I do for a living. And I have triggers. More than most people. Part of that has to do with my past, but some of them are based on recent experiences. Like being in the dark. I never used to have a problem with that, but ever since that storage container…”
“After what you went through, that is completely understandable,” Maxwell said.
“What do you mean about your past?” Jackson asked.
“I never knew my dad and my mom chose the bottle over me. And growing up in foster care, I was never wanted. Sure, some of the places were better than others, but mostly I was just another mouth to feed. And then there was the last place where the couple had seemed nice, until I realized the husband wanted me a little too much.”
Both men went dangerously still.
“Did that fucker touch you?” Jackson growled.
Trinity shook her head. “He would have, but I ran away before he got a chance.”
Maxwell grabbed the bottle and poured the liquor until it was to the brim of his and Jackson’s glasses. Both men quickly drank down the shots.
“Don’t worry, the story gets better from here,” she assured. “I was twelve when I ran away, and a few months later, I tried to boost a car and got caught. Turns out it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I met Ben Cross, an agent for Homeland Security, and he and his wife adopted me. I finally had a home, but still, a little part of me was always waiting for them to change their minds and boot me out on the street again. My adoptive parents were great. They still are. Now that they’ve both retired they’re traveling the world together, so I don’t see them much.”
“You followed in his footsteps,” Jackson said, encouraging her to continue.
“I did, but my disdain for authority got me in trouble time and time again.” She laughed a little. “If you bothered to check my file at Homeland, I think I might still hold the record for the most reprimands. So, that’s why when the opportunity came with IAD, I jumped at it. The point I’m trying to make is I need someone who wants me…for me.”
“No bullshit,” Jackson said seriously. “I want you. Thinking about you walking out of here and leaving me is like…I can’t do it. I can’t lose you now that I’ve found you. I know that nothing about our relationship has been normal so far, but as you said, we aren’t normal. Make no mistake, I want you. Maybe I needed all that extra shit because I’ve never found a woman I cared about enough to be with before you.”
“But how can you be sure?”
“I know I’d do just about anything to keep you, Katrina.” Jackson’s green eyes burned into hers with conviction. “We’ll learn as we go. You can never plan how this will turn out, but I’m willing to try.”