Page 8 of Offensive Plays

Or maybe Jonah told her…

I laugh out loud, hardly able to contain myself. "Summer of fun?" I cross my arms over my chest wanting her to elaborate.

"Oh, you know. The one where you two..." she pauses and looks around before cupping a hand to the side of her mouth and whispering, "Lost your v-cards?"

So no...he didn't tell her.

Jonah squeezes her shoulder abruptly. "Ok, hon. We don't...we don't have to talk about that."

"No, no. Of course not," Lillian says, running a hand down her dress as if attempting to straighten it more than it already is. "That was all...before. The Lord has forgiven you both," she says with a smile. "So, naturally, I will, too."

"Naturally," I parrot.

I haven't moved from my spot a few feet from them. My mind is swirling with memories of the summer she's talking about. Only, I wouldn't have called it fun.

Hell. Torment. Guilt. All would be more suitable than fun.

"Well, this has all been so—“

"Great," Jonah says, cutting me off and clearing his throat. He seems to be as uncomfortable as I am. "So great to see you, Libby."

"Yes, Libby. So great to finally get to meet you. Oh, you know what?" Lillian says excitedly. "Our wedding's in just a few weeks. June 1st, 5 pm in the church gardens. You should come!"

She smiles sweetly, and I'm more than confused by this sudden invite.

"Uh..ha, that's so nice of you to invite me, but I just don't think—“

"Oh," she tosses a hand in the air. "The past is in the past. I know you're an old family friend. It would be an honor to have you there wouldn't it, J?"

Family friend? That's a long shot.

According to Jonah's mother, I'm more like the woman who nearly single-handedly destroyed the Ferguson name.

"Honey," Jonah says to her, pulling her deeper into his side embrace. "It's probably just a little uncomfortable for Libby to be around us. That's okay, Libby. There's no pressure at all."

Yeah, no. I feel absolutely no pressure. The last thing I want to do is be around Jonah and any of his family, and much less at his wedding.

"Well, who knows? Maybe you can find yourself a decent man there," Lillian says, motioning toward the phone. And no doubt referencing the aforementioned schlong. "There'll be a bunch of single guys from the church there." She gives me a wink.

"You want me to come to your wedding to see if I'll hit it off with someone from your church?" I clarify.

Lillian shrugs and holds an effortless smile in response.

"Thanks, but I think I'm better off alone," I say, returning her smile. "Decent men seem to have a hard time with me. The not-so-decent ones, too, apparently."

Jonah clears his throat again. "Hon, we should get going. Our movie will be starting any minute. Uh, it was good seeing you, Lib."

"Think about it." Lillian gives me a faint wave just as Jonah ushers her along to their theater.

They disappear through the doors of a theater playing a sequel to Kung Fu Panda. What grown adults go to a theater to see a kid's movie?

I think about it alright. For a total of two seconds before doing my best to shake off the awkward exchange and push open the door to the bathroom like I had planned to all along.

I lean against the stall door and take a deep breath, opening the app that just made an uncomfortable exchange nearly unbearable.

Since graduation from college, my biggest priority has been taking care of my nephew, Liam. But now that Zane and Kesley are together, it's time to have some fun before getting serious about my own life goals.

This particular app filters out any facial features until we are within the same vicinity for our first date and agree to share. It's dumb, but it's new. And I've tried everything else you could possibly find on the internet to meet a man. Though I’m not really in the market for a decent man like Lady Lillian seems to think I need.