Page 98 of Scoring Chances

“Then why did you leave? Why did you leave so quickly? I would’ve protected you. You know I would’ve.”

I shake my head. “It wasn’t that.”

“Then what is it? Because for the last two weeks I’ve tried to understand what it is I could’ve done differently to make want to stay. I would’ve done anything, Princess.”

Oh, god. I wish I could tell him. But he’s not safe. Even being in this elevator alone with him. We’re not safe. Not until whoever blackmailed me by threatening them is found and put behind bars.

He reaches for my hand. His warmth radiating up my arm and those broken eyes staring into my very soul.

I want nothing more than to kiss him. To hold him and let him hold me. But the elevator dings. And the doors part. And we both step out.

When we get to my car, I unlock the door and he opens it for me. I slide into the driver’s seat but he doesn’t close the door right away, he stands there looking down at me with one arm on the top of the car and the other over the door.

“You are different for me, Cassidy. I need you to know that. And I don’t want you because of what you can do for me. Or how well you care for the kids. I want you in my life… because I’ve lived a life with you in it and a life without you. And with you, Princess, everything tastes sweeter.”

He cups my chin and I look up at him. He gives me the gentlest kiss on the lips. One full of pain and long-suffering. Our lips just barely part. And even then, I need him. I need all of him.

So it’s just cruel that I can’t have him. Now, that he’s begging for me.

He pulls away and sniffs.

“My phone is always on for you, Princess. And my door is always open. But I’m leaving in a few days.”

“What’s going to happen to the kids?”

“They’re coming with me,” he says matter-of-factly.

I look up at him. I think I might actually be in shock. “So… no foster ca–”

“No! They’re mine to care for. Nobody else’s.”

I could jump for joy at the sound of those words. I know how much this changes his life. And he’s willing to do it. To be selfless, for three kids that belonged to a man he couldn’t even stand to talk about.

“That’s really great news, Joshua.”

A tear falls down my cheek and he reaches for it, brushing it away.

“I meant what I said. My door is always open.”

I sigh. Smiling up at him. And he shuts the door, taps it twice and then backs away. Watching with his hands in his pockets as I put the car in reverse. And leave.

The tears keep falling. And this time, Joshua’s not there to catch them. Why does love have to hurt so badly?

Maybe if we didn’t have moments like these, then it wouldn’t matter. Maybe it’s the pain. The distance. The longing–that makes love taste even sweeter when you do have it.

I drive in silence trying to memorize the feeling of his lips on me. The way my skin heats at his touch–tender and protective.

I would much rather stay there with him. But it’s still not safe.

And until I can figure out when that is… I need to stay put.

I pull up to the apartment complex and sit in the car for a few minutes, just thinking.

When the sun has started to set, I decide I’ve sat long enough.

A text from Lillian comes through just as I’m grabbing my purse.

Lillian