Page 19 of Silver Linings
“Hi, Mom.” He bent down and gave his mom a kiss on her cheek. “How are you doing today?”
“I’m tired baby.”
He nodded. “I thought I’d find Lily in here.”
“Poor thing. She looks as tired as I feel today.”
“Why don’t I let you rest? I need to check in with her, anyway.”
“Sit for a minute. Tell me what’s going on in that handsome head of yours.”
Gunner grabbed the tufted arm chair from the corner of the room and moved it to the edge of his mother’s bed.
He scooped up her fragile hand, noting a large bruise on her thin skin. Tracing the edges of it, Gunner committed to memory the softness of her skin and the way her hand felt in his.
“I’m going to marry Lily,” he said, his eyes finally leaving her hand and finding their way up to her face.
“You are?” Excitement flashed in her sparkling eyes before questions settled across her face.
“Yeah, Ma. But it won’t be a real marriage. I’m just stepping up to help her and the baby. Someone needs to protect her from James. She needs insurance for the birth and after. And she needs things for the baby. I can’t just leave her to figure things out on her own.”
“You listen here Gunner, you better treat her right. That poor girl has been through more than you could ever know, and I expect if you’re marrying her, you won’t deny her a single thing, including your heart.”
“I don’t know if I even have a heart left to give. If I do, it’s too scarred and blackened for Lily’s goodness.”
“I won’t give my blessing unless you tell me you’ll try, honey. I understand why you are stepping up. You’ve always been that way, even since you were a little boy.”
“What way?”
“Needing justice. Needing to be the person that makes things right in the world.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“No, Gunner. It’s an admirable thing. But I don’t want to see Lily get hurt again.”
“I would never hurt her like that.”
“No, of course not. But her heart is a part of her, Gunner. She’s going to give her whole heart to you, freely. And that baby will too. Are you ready for that? All that sweet girl has ever wanted is a family that loves her. I tried my best to give her that here, but you are dangling the real thing right in front of her.”
“I hadn’t thought?—”
“No, I didn’t figure you would. You’ve always been so practical. And Lily has always had this more whimsical approach to life.”
“How do I make sure she’s okay, mom? I’m not good at the emotional stuff. I hate it.”
“That’s my fault. I should have let you know you didn’t need to push down all of your feelings when your dad left. I should have reminded you that it was okay to be vulnerable and to trust people to hold that space for you.”
“I’m not like him, mom. I won’t be.”
“Of course you’re not like him. You’ve worked your whole life not to be like him. I’m proud of the man you are, of the husband and father you’ll be.”
“I won’t ever be like him,” Gunner said again. “I’m going to be like you. I’m going to make sure our home is a safe place, filled with laughter and fun memories. I’m going to make each day special for Lily and the baby. I’m never going to let them forget that we are a family.”
“Then I think you’ll have a long and wonderful real marriage, Gunner. And that makes my heart happy.”
“…it won’t be a real marriage.” Lily’s heart shattered at his admission. Putting away a few towels into the linen closet just outside Juliette’s room, she couldn’t help but overhear the conversation going on between Gunner and his mother. Of course, she’d known it all along, but that didn’t take away the sting of his words. There was no love for her in Gunner’s heart. She was just the fool always pining after someone she could never have. Hot tears streaked her cheeks, and she pushed off of the wall, walking towards the kitchen.
“Lily, is everything okay?” Gia asked as she looked up from the table.