Page 38 of Silver Linings
“Is it okay if I try to nurse her?” Lily looked at him for permission. Her eyes betrayed just how exhausted she was, but hell, somehow she pushed through for their daughter.
Their daughter. The sweet little thing had come out full of sass, wanting to be heard. And heard she was. Her little cries were the most beautiful sound in the world.
The doctor had immediately put the baby on Lily’s chest, and he got lost in the sea of her dark eyes. When a nurse asked him if he wanted to cut the umbilical cord, he froze. But Lily smiled and told him it was alright. She said he should get to do it as her dad.
So he did, and he didn’t hide the tears that followed as a nurse placed her into his arms. That baby was all Lily, and he would do anything for his girls.
They moved Lily to her recovery room, Gunner following behind her wheelchair with their daughter safely tucked against his chest. He’d never been more scared of walking. They’d just been sitting in bed together, their own little dazed family, since.
“Of course it is. Do you want me to move?” he asked as he stood from the bed.
“No, please don’t go. I just need the pillow that’s over on the chair to put her on. Can you grab it for me?”
Gunner was up, reaching for the pillow before she even finished the sentence. Lily moved their daughter onto the squishy surface, releasing her hospital gown on one side to expose her breast. Gunner’s eyes shot to the ceiling, counting the tiles and trying desperately to think of anything other than Lily’s chest. She’d just given birth, for fuck’s sake. He couldn’t explain why she was more attractive to him than she’d ever been before.
“I think I’ve got her latched the right way.” Lily’s face scrunched up tightly. The doctor explained how nursing could be uncomfortable as both Lily and the baby figured out how to work together. She was doing brilliantly, though, and Gunner felt a rush of pride flood his chest.
“Will you come back and sit with us?” Her whispered question pulled him out of his daze.
“There’s no place I’d rather be.”
“Do you want me to cover up?”
“No. I would never want to drape a blanket over my head while I was eating. If you’re comfortable nursing her just like this, I’m fine with it, too.”
“God,” she wiped a tear from her eye.
“What? What’s wrong? Are you in pain? The nurse said the after birth contractions might be more painful with breastfeeding. Do you want me to ask them for more pain medication?”
“No,” she blew out a sharp breath. “This whole night has been like a fever dream, and you’re just being so incredibly sweet to me. I can’t take it, Gunner.”
“You need to get used to it sometime, Lily Kate. I swore before God and my mother that I would take care of you, and I plan on keeping that promise.”
Lily sighed and looked down at the baby in her arms.
“How is she so perfect? She’s so tiny and I just love her so much, Gunner. How can I be in charge of keeping something so precious safe from every danger in this world?”
“You’re already doing amazing, Lil. And it’s not just you. She’s got me, and her Aunt Gia, and all the guys on my team are going to be wrapped around her finger in no time. She’s going to have a great life.”
A sniffle filled the room and Gunner’s eyes shot up to Lily’s, where he saw tears shimmering along her lash line.
“What is it?”
“Ignore me. It’s just the hormones.”
“It’s not Lily. Weren’t you the one who told me it’s not good to hold in our emotions?”
“What do I know?”
“Stop. Tell me why you’re crying.”
“Because you’ve already given her more love and support than I could have ever hoped for. You’re giving us so much, Gunner. I don’t understand why, and maybe I never will, but I just want to say thank you.”
“You don’t owe me?—”
“Yes. The least I can do is say thank you. I know our arrangement is weird. I know it’s not a real marriage, but I will work every day to make sure you know how thankful I am that you stepped in to help us.”
Lily must have fallen asleep, because as she peeled her eyes open, the sun was streaming in strongly through her hospital room window. It really was the most beautiful day, and she had a feeling the way the breeze danced through the trees on the day her daughter was born was a sign of how beautiful her life was going to be.