Page 40 of Silver Linings
His whispered promise was the last thing she heard before she fell to sleep.
Fourteen
“Ugh!!!” Lily’s frustrated grumble lifted the hair on the back of his neck. It’d been a tough morning for Sprout, and apparently for Lily, too. The first three days home from the hospital had been a steep learning curve, and Gunner was busy running between trying to sort out the details behind moving his new family to Texas and soothing Lily’s heightened emotions.
The move was so much more complicated than he’d been expecting now that Lily and Sage were in the mix, but there was something to be said about his sister staying in their mother’s house. It made things a lot easier to just focus on the move, instead of on having to sell the house and everything in it.
“What do you need right now?”
Lily ran her hand through her already very disheveled hair, bouncing a crying Sage back and forth as she patted her back.
“She needs to have her diaper changed, and then I’ll need to nurse her, and she hasn’t had her tummy time today. Her laundry needs to be sorted through and packed up for the move. It’ll be time to put her down soon and then I’ll need to call and make her a doctor’s appointment just to get checked before our flig?—”
“No, Lil.” He pulled her into his chest. “Not ‘what does she need?’. What do you need?”
Her hand grabbed his shirt, and he felt her body shake as she took a few deep breaths. “I need a shower. And a nap. I have a headache, and I just can’t seem to recover from the lack of sleep.”
“Good girl. I’ll take care of Sage so you can have exactly that. And I’ll get you some medicine for your headache. You can take acetaminophen, right?” He scooped the baby out of her arms, smiling as the little girl snuggled down into his chest, and Lily nodded. “I’ll give her some tummy time while I pack up her things, and I’ll also call the pediatrician and get her an appointment. After your nap, you’re going to sit and eat an entire meal without getting up to fuss over her. Got it?”
Tears filled her eyes, and her chin wobbled. “Why am I like this?”
“Like what?”
“Exhausted. At the end of my rope. Just a mess as a mom. She hasn’t even been here a week and I’m failing. I look at her and I love her so much, but I can’t calm her. I can’t get her to sleep like you can. She already loves you so much and she looks at me like I’m a complete stranger.”
“Lily…”
“I’m not crazy, Gunner. Don’t look at me like that.”
“Sit,” he commanded as he walked over to the bed and did the same. But Lily didn’t move. “Now, Lily Kate.”
She finally gave in, sitting down on the edge as far away from him as she could get. It didn’t matter. His arm reached for her and he pulled her right into his side.
“You’re a new mom. This is totally normal.”
“How do you know? I’m a disaster and it all feels wrong, Gunner. You’re so calm and know exactly what to do to make her feel better all the time.”
She closed her eyes and brought her hand up to her head, rubbing at her temples. Yeah, he definitely needed her to get some rest. She was so focused on taking care of Sage that she wasn’t giving herself the things she needed to recover from the birth.
“I didn’t just have all of my internal resources depleted growing a tiny human for nine months. I didn’t spend hours and hours enduring the most physically painful labor known to mankind to bring her into the world. I’m not expected to recover from that while my body makes her food and never gets proper sleep, or nutrition, because I’m so attuned to what she needs that even a little whimper from her disturbs my sleep or pulls me away from my meals. That’s all you, Lil, and I promise, you are doing an amazing job. You just need to remember to give yourself some grace.”
She leaned her head onto his shoulder and nodded.
“Now, dry those tears. You’re off baby duty the rest of the day. The only thing I want you to worry about is resting and eating. I’m going to order in from the bistro and I expect you to eat everything I get, okay?”
“Gunner, I can’t ask you to do all that.”
“You’re not asking. I’m just doing it. That’s what good husbands and dads do. Now go. A hot shower, no less than thirty minutes, Lil. Then sleep. Hours of it if your body is telling you to.”
“She’ll need to nurse.”
“Okay. So shower. Long and hot. Then nurse Sprout. Then take a nap. I’ve got everything else handled.”
Lily stood on her tiptoes and kissed Gunner’s cheek. It was fast and whisper soft, but it seared into his skin.
“Thank you,” she whispered, smiling for the first time that day.
“Where’s Lily?” Gia asked as he walked into the kitchen with Sage. He didn’t miss the fact that her face was red and puffy from crying.