Page 6 of Silver Linings

“James! Do you hear yourself? You won’t go to work for your father, but you’ll make me live with your mom? You’ll let her watch our daughter after the horrible things she said about me?”

“You made her say those things, Lil. She wouldn’t have reacted like that if you weren’t so impossible.”

“Get out, James.” Lily’s heart was pounding in her ears, the pain from her headache now radiating out from behind her eyes. “If your parent’s home is such a great place, then go stay there. Without me.”

James wrapped his hand around her arm and pulled her up from the chair. He pressed his face forcefully into hers, spit hitting her ear as he hissed into it.

“You don’t fucking tell me what to do, Lily. You don’t want to be around me, then you be the fucking one to leave.”

“Don’t touch me like that.” Lily pulled her arm free from his grasp and rubbed her skin. She already had red marks from where his fingers had dug into her skin. Just another thing she’d need to hide behind her smile the next day at work.

“I’ll touch you any way I like. You’re my fiance. Soon to be my wife. And that’s my baby you’re carrying. Don’t you think you should speak to me with a little more respect than that?”

“Respect?” The word came out an entire octave higher than she meant for it to. “James, I’m sorry, but you’ve got to be kidding me. You knock me up and have to have your mom pressure you into proposing, lose your job, drink all day and all night with your worthless friends, put your hands on me in such a vicious way that I’m constantly covering up bruises. I work to cover all the bills, I cook for you, I pick up after you…There is no energy left in my body for respect towards you.”

“You fucking ungrateful bitch.”

“I’m not ungrateful. I know how you were there for me when my parents found out I was pregnant. The things they said to me,” her voice choked on the memory. “I wouldn’t have been okay without the sweet way you reassured me that night. But I want that James back. I don’t want the version of you that’s here today.”

“So fucking leave, Lily.”

And there it was. Her mouth watered and her stomach churned with pure acid as she fell back into the realization that she was well and truly stuck where she was, while a smile lit his face up.

“If you’re so amazing and I’m so pathetic, why aren’t you out on your own, Lil? Oh, that’s right, no one else was willing to help the mayor’s knocked up, unwed daughter. The only reason you can still find work here is because my parents carry so much influence. Leave me, and all that goes out the window too. So, I hope you’re ready for life with me, Lily, because I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you.”

James walked out of the kitchen, and Lily flinched as their front door slammed shut. The rev of his truck’s engine told her he was heading out to the bars once again. No surprise there. He may not have any surprises for her, but she sure had one for him. While she was depositing money into their joint account to pay for everything from groceries to the electricity bill, she’d also been saving, here and there, as much as she could in her own bank account.

There was almost enough in the account for a down payment and first month’s rent on a small one-bedroom place Gia had told her about. Her best friend didn’t know it, but she had given Lily the courage to leave. Of course, she wasn’t being honest with Gia about everything that was happening, but with the little she did share, she knew Gia had picked up her desperation to get away. Still, she never made Lily feel stupid for being in this desperate position in the first place, and that meant everything to her.

“Okay, sweet girl,” Lily said, patting her belly as the baby kicked. “Mama is going to get this all figured out. We’re going to be okay. I promise.”

Four

“Jules, do you want to go sit in the living room for a bit?” Lily gently nudged the next day.

“No. I’m tired. Just let me be.” She’d been sleeping nearly all day, and while it wasn’t unexpected, it was still hard to see.

“I’ll just be in the kitchen with Gia and Gunner. I’ll come check on you in a bit, okay?”

Juliette didn’t answer, already fast asleep. The moments of lucidity were lessening. Earlier that morning, Jules had thought Lily was her mother, coming in to get her ready for school.

Tears welled in her eyes as she thought about having to say goodbye. She pressed her back to the hallway wall and let them fall.

“What’s wrong?” The gruff voice had her nearly jumping out of her skin. She quickly wiped away the tears and walked away from the bedrooms.

“Lily, would you stop, please? Tell me why you were crying.”

“It’s nothing. Honestly, I tear up over any little thing thanks to Sprout.” Lord, she was about to lose her mind. When she wasn’t checking in with Juliette, Gunner had been hovering in her shadow and she was about to snap. Could she not even have a two-minute mini breakdown in peace?

“It’s not nothing.”

Gunner continued to stare at her, and her whole body flushed under the scrutiny. “I’m a million months pregnant, Gunner. Emotional is my middle name right now. That’s it.”

“That’s why you look like you’re in pain?” His words were a challenge, but she wasn’t about to give away anything.

“My heart hurts for you guys. And for Jules.”

“You’ve been wincing all day. I don’t think that’s from your emotions.”