Page 80 of Silver Linings

“Then get new clothes. I’ll take you shopping this weekend. You’re perfect, just as you are. Now, eat your dinner.”

“No. I’m going to go make a salad.” She pushed her chair back, and Gunner watched her walk into the kitchen with her plate.

What the fuck had made her think she needed to lose weight? She was literally perfect just the way she was. It hadn’t even been three months since she’d had Sage. Gunner racked his brain, trying to think if he’d said something to make her feel like she needed to change.

Pushing his own chair away from the table, he walked into the kitchen, where he found Lily cutting into a head of iceberg lettuce.

“You are not just eating a fucking salad for dinner.”

“You weren’t there, Gunner. You didn’t hear what she said to me.” Emotion was thick in her voice, but he could tell that she wasn’t going to let herself cry.

“Who, Lil? Who said something about your weight?”

“This woman stopped me today while I was out walking with Sage. She said I needed to be a good example for her and lose the weight I’d gained. That my husband wouldn’t want to see the constant reminder of my pregnancy. I know what she saw. I’m still so lumpy and soft. She’s right. I need to focus on getting my curves back under control.”

He reached out and covered her hand with his, gently removing the knife with the other. Gunner set it on the counter before he pulled her into his chest, his hands gliding down her sides and onto her hips. “The curves that make you a woman? These amazing curves that make up my wife? You want them to go away? They’re a perfect part of you, Lily. I don’t want them to change. I don’t want you to have a flat belly. It should be round with my child. With my children. And when we’re done having kids one day, I want it to be soft. A sweet reminder of the warm, healthy, and fucking insanely sexy way you carried my babies.”

Fuck. Where the hell had that come from?

Lily stared into his eyes like she couldn’t believe what he’d just said. He could barely believe the confession himself, but it was the truth. He’d pictured her pregnant with his baby more times than he wanted to admit. There was so much he missed out on when she was pregnant with Sage. Helping Lily through the nausea and fatigue of the first trimester, finally getting to feel the baby kick, talking to the baby each night before bed. He wanted to experience it all over and over again with her. The doctor had mentioned needing to monitor her in future pregnancies for preeclampsia, and that would always be a fear burning bright in his chest, but if she felt good with having more babies, he wanted to make that a reality so fucking bad.

She took a slight step back from him, and for a second he worried that he’d said the wrong thing.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have said that, but fuck, Lil, the sexiest thing you can do for a man is carry his child. If there are people out there who can’t understand that you sacrificed your body for nine months to grow life inside of you, and your body has changed now because of that, then they can go to hell. You’re perfect just the way you are.”

“That’s not true at all, Gunner. And I’m sorry that I didn’t realize it until today. No wonder you never told your friends about me.”

He froze, Nash’s warning ringing loud in his head. “What are you talking about?”

“You didn’t tell them you had to marry me.” Her eyes drifted towards the floor. “They didn’t even know we were coming here with you. I thought it was because you’re really private and maybe you were just overwhelmed with losing your mom and the move, but I know that you kept them up to date on everything except me and the baby. I didn’t understand why, but now I do. You were ashamed to bring me here. To be stuck with me.”

Tears were filling her eyes, and Gunner froze.

“You’re embarrassed by how your wife looks,” she continued.

Gunner wrapped his fingers through hers and pulled her towards his bedroom.

“Gunner, I…”

“No, Lil. You got to say your bit out there. And now, I’m going to tell you just how wrong you are. Stand here,” Gunner moved her in front of his mirror. “I am not ashamed or embarrassed by you, and I’m so sorry that those thoughts even went through that beautiful head of yours for even a second. It’s not true. The words that woman said to you are not true. You are perfect in my eyes. Perfect, understood.”

Lily didn’t move. “Why didn’t you tell them about me? About Sage?”

“Because I’m an idiot. I was so freaked out when you got sick that I was afraid to say anything and have you taken away from me. You and Sage are the best things that have ever happened to me. The very best. I was scared for someone else to see that. I’m scared of the happiness being taken away from me every single day.” He turned her face, so she was looking directly at him, no longer through the mirror.

“I should have told you this before. It’s just a hard thing to bring up. Gage lost his wife and son. They were hit by a drunk driver when we were deploying for a mission overseas. By the time we landed and Gage found out, they had been gone almost an entire day. Watching him hear that news,” he swallowed, trying to stop the tears he saw swelling in Lily’s eyes from bringing on his own. “The way he screamed, Lil, it’s burned into my heart. We don’t have what Gage and Melody had, but we have friendship. And there’s the most perfect little girl sleeping across the hallway that we share. I didn’t tell the guys about you because I couldn’t imagine having to tell them I’d found and then lost my wife all in the same breath.”

Her eyes welled with tears. “I didn’t know…”

He brushed his finger against the small white scar near her hairline.

“You remember this summer?”

“How could I forget?” she asked as she sniffled.

“For how small of a cut that was, it looked like you were bleeding out.”

“Well, I might have been slightly concussed. You threw that softball at me like I was preparing for the Olympics.”