Page 27 of Came the Closest
Ideas spin in my mind to try and change his. That’s how I am, how I’ve always been. People hurt, and I nurture. Mother them, my brothers would say. I think it’s just something I was born with, an instinct that I can’t shake. And from the moment Colton showed me the picture of Milo, my heart took a mental screenshot.
“Well then,” I say slowly, “I guess we’d have to be fake engaged.”
Colton’s dark brows lift incredulously. “Fake engaged?”
“Unless you want to be engaged for real, yes.” The joke falls flat, but humor is a coping mechanism. One I need right now.
“What would you get out of it, though?” he asks. “Your house and your time. What’s in it for you?”
A missed chance at motherhood.
I can’t say that, though. Not without subsequently telling him too much of the truth. Instead, and because it is a partial truth, I shrug and say, “A reason to face the lake house.”
“You do realize what that would look like, right?” he asks. “You and me. Most people wouldn’t know it’s fake.”
I do know what it would look like, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take. I nod.
He contemplates this for a moment. His eyes meet mine, and a tiny ember of determination edges into the apprehension. “I have conditions, Cheyenne.”
Conditions sound a lot like leverage, the one thing I swore I’d never let another man have over me. I shove the unease away. This is Colton. The man might have the power to break my heart again, but only because I’d let him. Even during those fleeting moments five years ago, the stolen kisses and humid summer slow dances and hours-long phone calls, he’d been clear that it was going nowhere.
It had been my choice to love him then, and it would be my choice to love him now.
“Which are?” I ask.
“Come to Dad’s for supper tonight so you can meet Milo,” he says. “Provided meeting him goes well, I want you to live at the lake house with us. When I’m on the road, you’d have to be there overnight anyways. The last thing Milo needs is more confusion right now, wouldn’t you agree?”
“Yes,” I say distractedly. I’m stuck on living at the lake house.
Me, Colton, and Milo.
A temporary mom, a temporary dad, and a very temporary child.
Like the little family I’ve always wanted, the one I very nearly had with Stephen. This one will come with tangerine sunsets over the lake, Quaker Squares and blueberries at the kitchen island for breakfast, and plastic sand toys at the local beach. But when summertime closes, it’ll slip away. Slowly, this time, like sand through an hourglass.
If you don’t take opportunities when they come to you, Dad used to say, you can’t complain about never having had the chance.
Colton looks at me hesitantly, as if taking a moment to truly consider what we’re about to agree to. He holds his hand out between us. “So. Is that that?”
With Dad’s words held close to me, I slip my fingers into Colton’s. Awareness fizzes in my nervous system. “Yeah, that’s that.”
TEXTS BETWEEN JUSTIN & CHEYENNE:
Justin: Not that you asked, but my date is going well. No mini golf balls have been lost to the Great Blue Water, and Sophie rated my fit 10.
Justin: The real question is what was COLTON doing at YOUR apartment????
Cheyenne: Were the all caps and four question marks really necessary?
Justin: Don’t evade me Mother Dear. Consider me to be in that role right now.
Cheyenne: You are not my mother.
Justin: Don’t make me come over with my key again.
Cheyenne: It’s a long story that’s not text conducive.
Justin: Fine then. Breakfast with Beau and me tomorrow morning.