Page 89 of Shadows of Winter
“Even I did,” Isla admitted quietly. “Not at first, not when I lay there and let him…” She waved. “I was inexperienced. A virgin when we wed. But I was enamored with Avaron and wanted him to enjoy being with me. I feared if he didn’t, he would seek mistresses, so I… educated myself on pleasuring a man.”
Never would Kaylina have expected to discuss such things with a noblewoman, especially one she’d known less than an hour, but she couldn’t keep from asking, “Did he… change?”
Once again, the scars on Isla’s neck drew her gaze. A shiver of dread—of certainty—went through her.
“Yes.” Isla followed her gaze and traced the scars. “There are others.” She gestured toward her breasts and lower.
“Because he was mad or…”
“Aroused.” Isla flipped through the drawing pad, showing other pictures of the beast, and some of the man as well. “He knew when he was in that state that I was his mate—his female that he’d claimed—and, believe it or not, he was gentle, at least compared to when he attacked enemies. I lived, after all. And I… stayed. I loved him. And I bore his sons, which I don’t regret, but, eventually, he grew distant and slept in his own bed. I don’t think he went to others. I think he chose celibacy to ensure nothing would happen to the mother of his sons.” Isla stopped on an illustration of the father holding a baby and standing next to a boy of seven or eight. Vlerion and Vlarek. “Some of the men in the family have done that, choosing celibacy and refusing to take wives, not wanting to pass along the curse, but the beast has thoughts of its own when it comes to that. It seems to be embedded in them that the family line must be continued. The curse must be continued. Usually, at least one son carries on the seed, taking a wife and bearing children.” Isla turned back to Kaylina and held her gaze, her eyes intense. “Not all of those wives have survived. Sometimes, the beasts aren’t gentle, or there are accidents. They’re so powerful, so deadly…”
Mouth dry, Kaylina set the cat on the bed for an excuse to step away from Isla’s unwavering stare.
“Listen, I appreciate the warning.” Though Kaylina might have preferred fewer details. She also felt like an intruder now, knowing this much about the family history. “But it wasn’t necessary. I—”
“For Vlerion, there have been a few dalliances with women—it is hard to convince a young man that he should be celibate—and I don’t think any have ended… disastrously. But I doubt he would have told me if they had. His brother was his confidant. Since Vlarek passed, Vlerion keeps everything to himself. It was on a hunch that I had you brought here, and now that I’ve seen you might be an anrokk—” Isla glanced at the cat, still purring as it flopped down on the bed, “—I’m glad I followed my instincts and gave you this warning. For your own health and his, stay away from him. Please. Do not flirt with him. Do not even see him. If he turns, it’s dangerous not only for you but for him. As I told you, his brother fell to his comrades. His friends. I don’t want that to happen again.”
Kaylina licked her lips, not knowing what to say. “Isn’t there anything that can be done?”
“He does his best. When he feels his emotions rising, he sings or hums to himself, favorite old songs that calm him.”
Yes, she’d heard that. Now it made sense.
But what she’d meant was… “Isn’t there anything that can be done to end the curse?”
Isla shook her head. “For generations, King Balzarak's descendants have tried. Some became scholars and dedicated their lives to nothing but researching the past, trying to find a way to appease the druids, but those who left the curse are, as far as anyone has been able to determine, gone again from this world. Perhaps forever. Most of the descendants eventually accepted that they were dangerous and they needed to lead quiet lives of farming or scholarship or the like.”
“Is the curse why King Balzarak abdicated the throne?”
“Yes. And it is why none of his male descendants attempted to reclaim it, even when they wished it, when they longed for the family to return to power. Neither my husband nor his sons would have turned on King Gavatorin, even if he’s not the man his father was, and his son is… a dubious choice for a future monarch. That family has known about and kept the Havartaft secret since the beginning, so we owe him.”
Kaylina hadn’t meant to suggest a rebellion or that Vlerion try to take the throne—the city had enough strife as it was. She’d only been curious. She couldn’t believe there wasn’t a way to end the curse. Why would the druids have condemned the offspring of those so far removed from the people who’d committed the original transgression?
Isla rested a hand on Kaylina’s arm. “Stay away from Vlerion. I can’t risk losing another son. You don’t know what it’s like… to outlive your babies.” She swallowed, her eyes moist. “I’ll speak to Targon.”
A horse whinnied outside. While Kaylina groped for what else to say, she drifted to the window, wondering if the carriage was ready to take her back.
But when she looked out toward the stable, she saw what had interested the horses. A taybarri had arrived. Crenoch. And Vlerion sat astride him. As if he felt her gaze, he looked up to the bedroom window, and their eyes locked.
An anxious flutter took Kaylina’s stomach. His face was unreadable, but her instincts told her he wasn’t pleased to see her here. To have his mother sharing his secrets with a woman he barely knew. With anyone.
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A good friend will risk his life to defend you in battle; a great friend will hold your secrets even when drunk.
~ Dainbridge III, the playwright
Vlerion’s face was still masked when Kaylina walked outside, his mother coming right behind her. Protectively, Kaylina thought. Did she need protection from Vlerion? Maybe if he thought she’d come up here of her own accord, though Kaylina couldn’t imagine why he would believe she would. Or could. She hadn’t even known his surname.
“Mother.” He’d dismounted and stepped forward to kiss her cheek. “Are you meddling?”
“Certainly. It’s my duty to watch over you.”
“You are not a god.”
“Nor would I wish to be one, unless I could rouse them to return from the moon and walk among us again. We could use their guidance in these trying times.” Isla gazed sadly at her son, probably thinking about the curse rather than the strife in town.
“Indeed.” Vlerion looked between his mother and Kaylina and back, as if he wanted to ask what they’d been talking about. But maybe he already knew? Without questioning his mother, he faced Kaylina. “You did not report to ranger headquarters this morning.”