Page 6 of Hiding from Hope

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Page 6 of Hiding from Hope

The sky is blue. The sun rises. Jessie Jenkins can see my eyes.

I’m cutting my fringe off tomorrow.

I stand there like a frozen statue, and he turns, heading back over to Mary.

“Hey, you okay?” Addy asks, and my heart lurches at the second jump scare in as many minutes. If I’m not careful, I am going to have a heart attack before I become a woman.

“Oh, yeah… fine.” I clear my throat and continue with the table. Addison picks up some of the cutlery and helps.

“Why is your face red?” Addison asks, and I refuse to make eye contact, not giving her an answer, either.

“Do you think I should cut my fringe?”

“If you want, I like it, though,” she responds, and as we finish at the table, we head to the kitchen counter and wait for Mary to be done. Jessie seems to have made himself scarce and I can’t explain the little pit of disappointment sitting in my stomach.

“Do you think you can see my eyes better without it?” I push, and this time finally look up at her. She assesses my whole face, actually considering the question.

“Mmm. Maybe? I don’t know. Do you like it?”

“I don’t think I do anymore.” I shrug and play with the ends of the braid over my shoulder, trying to give my nervous hands something to do.

“I guess let it grow, then.”

I guess I will.

Jessie

Present Day

“Just the usual, thanks, handsome,” Betty, my 70-year-old Monday regular, orders as I place her exact coffee order on the counter. Betty has been ordering the same large, full fat, no sugar–because she is sweet enough–coffee order since I opened. Like clockwork, every Monday, and right at 10am.

“Here you are, Betty. See you next week.” She winks at me before leaving another generous tip and heading back for the door.

What doesn’t happen every Monday at 10am, though, is Casey skipping through the door like she’s riding a fucking rainbow into the sun. And, of course, she steals all the air from the room as she does it.

“Morning, Jay!” Her sweet melodic voice makes its way over to me as she saunters over. Casey has called me Jay for years, like JJ wasn’t already short enough. It was a nickname I told her I hated and to never call me, which only made her use it more and with a disgustingly large smile every time. I hated it.

Because I didn’t fucking hate it at all. That was when I really started to notice Casey.

It was easy when she was sixteen. Sure, she was adorable, and being around her made me feel light and full of joy. Things I now hadn’t felt in years. But then, I was an adult, and she was a teen. A mature, funny, and cute teen that was my sister’s best friend. I might not have been attracted to her at the time, but I definitely enjoyed her company. The lingering looks I left in her direction, the way she started to elicit reactions I had no control over, only started at Addy’s twenty-first birthday. The first time I really saw Casey as a woman, outside of being my sister’s friend.

And now she was here, beaming all her sunshine at me and calling me familiar names that were threatening my solid walls of apathy.

“What weird concoction you ordering this morning?” I level her with a bored tone, ready for her to place a ridiculous order. Casey has a habit of trying the strangest coffee orders, of which she thinks I apparently need help with, considering she offered to be my… person? Whatever that is.

She bopped me. Literally bopped me on the fucking nose like some witch with her magic bop, and it made my stomach flip and I nearly laughed right along with her. Seriously, what is it with this fucking woman and throwing every single brain cell up in smoke?

“Hmm.” She taps her chin, biting her bottom lip as she reads the menu on the wall above my head.

Why can’t I stop looking at her lips?

“You don’t have anything new since the last time I was here.” She seems disappointed and something inside me sinks, making my chest feel tight. “Can you surprise me?” She leans her hands forward on the counter as she asks, her bright blue eyes practically glowing in the scant rays of the morning sun, painting her auburn hair in a glow that is angelic. Fitting.

“I have a few new syrups I haven’t tried out yet. Give me a sec,” I mumble as I drag a hand down my face and turn to head out the back. Needing the air, needing the space. Needing to pull myself the fuck back together.

I hadn’t seen her here in a long time. When my relationship with Addy was strained, she and Rosie both stopped coming around as often. If Casey ever did, she was usually alone and never stuck around long. Perhaps a touch of sadness to her expression, but she was still always perfectly her. Rosie wouldn’t give me the time of day and I knew I needed to apologize to her too before she started coming around again. I made her best friend cry, so she added me to her murder list.

I grabbed the two new syrups and with effort dragged myself back to the front where Casey stands staring out the window. We were only just coming out of summer, so the air was still warm with a slight breeze, and the sun was hiding more often than not, but she still found the single ray of sun, which she seemed to do everywhere she went. She doesn’t notice me right away, and even though I shouldn’t, I linger in the doorway, away from other patrons, but enough so that I can drink her in. Her creamy skin glowing in a pair of yoga tights that should be illegal, a loose tank top, and a sweater tied around her waist. Her hair is half pinned back with a pale blue bow at the top of her head.




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