Page 131 of Five Brothers
“What do you know?” she fires back. “You’ve always had backup.”
I laugh, sniffling again as I swipe my hand under my nose and pull away blood. “Oh, is that what you call that …”
She’s the fucking oldest. Like Macon.
They have a burden I’ll never know, but they are also a burden they will never understand. Something goes wrong with kids who are forced to parent their siblings. In ten years, she could be blaming Mars and Paisleigh for her shitty life, because … well, everything would’ve been fine if they didn’t exist.
Right?
I mean, we’re the sole reason Macon is a monster, right?
“You do look at him,” I say, my voice soft. “I wasn’t making that up.”
When she doesn’t say anything, I turn my gaze on her. “Was he next?”
She glares ahead, refusing to look at me.
I grab her leg under the knee and pull her toward me. She gasps as I fit my knees between her legs.
She yanks against the cuffs, her fists balled above her. I lean my hand on the door behind her head, hovering over her body. “I don’t see Dex’s mother when I look at you.” I gaze at her, her shirt riding up and her stomach showing. “But when I fuck you, Krisjen, it will be for revenge.”
“Army, man …” I hear Marquis warn.
But he’ll have to pull the car over to stop me.
“She’s a Saint,” I tell Krisjen. “Dex’s mother.”
Her eyes falter just slightly.
“She gave me my son, and then acted like we didn’t exist, because I tainted her clean white sheets and our son was a dirty secret.”
She doesn’t say a word.
“She destroyed me, Krisjen,” I whisper, choking down the shit rising up my throat. “What am I supposed to tell him when he runs into her someday?”
I know the cops are keeping an eye on us, but I don’t think they can hear.
“She didn’t want me. No one fucking wants me. Why?” I blink a few times to get rid of the burn behind my eyes. “She didn’t see me as a man. As strong. Trace and Dallas and Iron don’t fear me, and Macon doesn’t see me at all. Liv doesn’t respect me.”
They love me.
They don’t seek me.
“People don’t walk on me,” I say. “They just step over me as if I’m not here.”
Everyone. Not a single fucking person needs me, and I can’t put that burden on Dex. I can’t make him responsible for filling a hole I can’t fill anywhere else.
When she finally speaks, her voice is low but still firm. “So what are you going to do?”
“What do you think I should do?”
“I think you should have it out with her,” she says, strands of her hair blowing in front of her mouth as she speaks. “Kidnap her, tie her up, yell. Then let her go. You’ll get away with it.”
“Are you both having this conversation in a cop car right now?” Marquis gripes.
But I smile. “What should I say to her?” I ask Krisjen.
“What do you want to say?”