Page 178 of Five Brothers
“If you do …” He strokes my hair. “I’m going to lock you in your room.”
A smile spreads across my face as tears spring to my eyes. I wrap my arms around his leg, and I don’t know if I’m happy he doesn’t want to see me do those things to help his family, or how he just insinuated Liv’s old room is now mine. I don’t know what I am to him, but I know he’s keeping me.
His hand shakes in my hair, and I hold him tighter, but he pulls away. “I need sleep,” he says. “I wish I could sleep.”
I look up at him, watching as he rubs his eyes. He looks so tired.
“That fucking shutter, Krisjen.” He breathes out, and I realize it’s still blowing in the wind outside. “Just go.” His voice is strained. “Go to bed.”
“I don’t want to go.”
“Now.”
“Please just let me stay for a little while,” I whisper.
“Krisjen …”
“I just want to be near you.”
“Now!” he barks.
I startle and hurry to my feet. I want to stay. Nothing will happen, I just don’t want to leave him alone.
I want to be where he is.
But I’m not someone he needs. I can’t even get my own act together.
The Jaegers will be fine. They survived—flourished—long before me.
And they’ll still be here long after.
21
Krisjen
The next morning, I don’t think Macon has gotten any sleep. “Macon!” Dallas yells. “I need a shower! Come on!”
I stop, hearing the commotion inside Macon’s bedroom. Dallas stands to the right, dressed only in a gray towel as he bangs on his brother’s closed bathroom door. Army slips in around me, heading toward him. “Macon!” he calls out.
“What the hell is he doing?” Dallas gripes.
Army pounds his fist on the door three times. “Macon! Answer me!”
But there’s no reply.
I drop my work apron on the floor and enter the room, hearing the shower inside. “How long’s he been in there?” I ask.
“The shower’s been running since I got up.” Dallas pounds on the door again. “At least an hour.”
“Macon!” Army joins him, knocking hard.
My stomach coils. I jet over to his closet, rip a shirt off a wire hanger, and straighten the hook at the end, pushing the guys aside.
If everything was fine, Macon would’ve answered. Goddammit. I knew he didn’t sound right last night. When’s the last time I saw him eat?
“Use the other bathroom,” I tell Dallas.
“Trace and some girl are in there.”