Page 252 of Five Brothers

Liv holds Clay’s hand, and I pull Krisjen back into my body, hanging an arm over her shoulder.

“I love you so goddamn much,” I whisper.

She leans her head back against my chest. “I suspected.”

And I smile, kissing her hair.

The next morning, we still haven’t slept.

We stayed up all night, talking about our favorite holidays, our worst memories, if we believed in God, my favorite body part of hers, and why the electric bill has more than doubled since she started staying here the past couple of months. We agreed. It’s her long hot showers.

And we spent a lot of time not talking. Hours not talking. We need to leave this bed, though. If only because I want to look forward to her tonight.

I hold her to me, grazing my fingers up and down her back. “We should wait to have kids,” I say. “Okay?”

I don’t want to talk about this now, but she may take my previous statements as an invitation to stop birth control.

“Do you want them?” I ask her.

She lifts her eyes to me, nodding. “You?”

“I think so.” I’m almost thirty-two. I don’t want to be an old father, but I don’t want to be a bad one, either. “I should … I need some time.”

I feel good today. I feel better a lot lately, but it might not last. I can’t make her any guarantees. I’m not ready for kids. Not yet.

She touches my face. “I want you to talk to someone.”

I shift underneath her. I really don’t want to do that.

“I’d be destroyed if anything happened to you,” she whispers. “You need someone who knows what they’re doing. Will you try?”

I swallow hard. I’ll do anything she wants me to. Not that I’d be okay losing anyone in my life, but I can’t lose her. I want us happy.

Every day doesn’t have to be easy, but I want her to know every day that I love her.

“Okay,” I reply.

She smiles, and I feel her body relax in my arms.

“I’ll be a handful, you know,” I warn her.

And I don’t even mean the moods.

She laughs. “I’ve got two hands.”

She slides on top of me, kissing my lips. “I know who you are,” she says. “And I want every minute of it.”

I grip her ass, rubbing her over my groin. “You sure?”

“Oh, baby, I won’t be a picnic, either.” She kisses me deep, slipping her tongue in again and again. “But you like pains in the ass.”

I break out in a smile. They seem to be my lot in life.

Just then, we hear a bellow outside the door. “Ah!” someone shouts.

Was that Mars?

There’s pounding on the stairs, and then I hear Dallas. “Get these clothes out of the dryer!”