Page 65 of Hard Rain Coming
“This is kind of weird, right?” Summer asked, cheeks pink as she played with the edge of her T-shirt.
“Yes, it’s almost indescribable.” Vivian waited a few moments. “I’m glad you agreed to meet, and I’m real sorry I kind of blew you off three years ago.”
Summer shrugged. “It’s okay. Not everyone wants to face the past, you know? And I respect that. I mean, it must be just as hard for you.” She shrugged. “Maybe harder. But I’m glad you’re here now.”
That ball of anxiety was making Vivian uncomfortable, and she shifted a bit, knowing the easy part was done. “You must have a lot of questions.”
Summer nodded.
“The least I can do is answer anything as truthfully as I can, so fire away.”
Summer sat straighter and chewed on her bottom lip, then met Vivian’s gaze with the kind of directness not seen in most girls her age. “Were you scared?”
The question surprised Vivian. She thought she’d have to explain the why of it first. “I was terrified.” She paused, knowing she had to face everything. “I considered termination, but I guess I was more scared of that than having a baby. Other than an initial call to a clinic, it wasn’t something I ever thought about again.”
“Did you want to keep me?” Summer’s expression was veiled, and, mouth dry, Vivian shook her head.
“In a perfect world, yes. But I knew I couldn’t raise a baby. I could barely take care of myself, and I felt like I had no one to lean on.”
“Your parents wouldn’t have been there for you?” She saw the question in Summer’s eyes.
“My mom died when I was young, and my dad, he…” Vivian sighed and glanced away. She’d been thinking about her dad a lot lately. The dark and toxic anger she felt was still there, but it was lessened. Diminished a bit.
“My father had his own demons to deal with.”
“And my dad?”
Goose bumps rose across her arms. Vivian shivered. Would her daughter hate her for this?
“He didn’t know,” she said quietly. “I never told him. We were young and volatile, and everything seemed so big and overwhelming. My feelings. The world. The way we were with each other. I thought we were broken up. I didn’t give him a chance to react or to help, and my father was awful about the whole thing. I was scared. Instead of dealing with it, I ran away.” She tried her best to keep the pain from her voice, but she wasn’t successful, and, embarrassed, she lowered her eyes.
Summer reached across the table and grabbed her hands. “I’m so sorry that you felt so alone.”
The tears that had been threatening since she’d arrived began to fall, and Vivian’s lips trembled as she looked across the table at her daughter.
“I’ve thought about this a million times,” she said softly. “And in every scenario I dreamed up, not once was I sitting at a table being consoled by the girl I gave away.”
“But you didn’t… That sounds so cold.” Summer’s voice broke, and she sighed heavily. “I don’t look at it like that. Like you giving me away. That sounds so random, you know? Mom and Dad never kept things from me. I always knew I was adopted, the same as I knew I was loved. My parents are amazing. The best. So, I never felt like I missed out on anything. I don’t have this big hole inside me I’m looking to fill. That’s not why I wanted to meet you. I guess I was just curious about you. About where I came from. About why and how and who you are as a person. Like, what do I have that came from you?”
How could this magical, mature, beautiful, kind soul have come from me?
“You remind me of my mother,” Vivian said slowly. “You have her nose and chin. And when you pick at your hair and tuck it behind your ear, that’s me.” Vivian chuckled. “That’s all me.” Her laughter faded. “When you tilt your head that certain way, that’s my mom. She was bright and beautiful, and she loved to sing and play guitar.” Vivian swiped at the tears on her face. “She would have loved you so much. If she hadn’t died, I would have kept you.” She glanced away, her heart full of sorrow for all the things lost. “Now I’m blubbering like an idiot.”
“I like to sing,” Summer said after a few moments. “And I love horses and dancing in the rain. I like sitting on the porch when it’s thundering and lightning, and I love to read.”
Vivian smiled through her tears. “I grew up on a ranch in Montana, so the horse thing, I get. But this is really going to blow your mind.”
Summer leaned forward, her skin bright with the flush of youth, her eyes wide and open. “What?”
“My brother is Cal Bridgestone. He’s your uncle.”
She saw the moment the realization hit. Summer’s mouth opened into a big O.
“Cal Bridgestone who sings Boots and Hearts and Lonely on You?”
Vivian nodded. “Biologically, you’re a Bridgestone and…”
Summer’s eyebrow rose, the movement so like Dallas that Vivian had to look away. She’d kept him from this exquisite creature. How would he react when he finally met her?